Tag: mindfulness

  • Breastfeeding in mindfulness

    Breastfeeding is a beautiful moment between me and my baby. A precious moment to rest, connect, and exchange. During breastfeeding, there is a direct energy connection between the baby and mother. Skins touch, hormones soar, reflexes act, milk flows. It is a deeply intuitive process that taps into the most ancient parts of both our brains.

    It matters how we spend our time
    As nursing mothers (and actually this goes for all baby feeding parents) we spend up to several hours each day sitting with our little one. In stead of browsing social media, checking messages or watching Netflix, why not spend this time with them consciously connecting, breathing or meditating? It’s a great opportunity! You are here sitting still anyway ;).

    Your baby, whilst drinking from your breast, is very much in tune with your body (and you with hers). She unconsciously and immediately picks up on every signal: your heart rate, sweat response, muscle tension, and breathing rhythm – to name a few.

    Just imagine the difference for your child when she looks up to look at you face and sees you either distressed by the news/consumed by a screen as opposed to lovingly/playfully looking at her or your eyes closed gently in silent meditation. She probably won’t remember consciously but the vibration of these early experiences will be stored in subtle layers of the body-mind.

    A gift to mother and child
    Nursing my baby has become a daily recurring practice of playfulness and mindfulness in the months since her birth. The time spent with her at my chest is so incredibly precious.

    The sensation of her tiny chubby fingers stroking, squeezing and tapping my chest (causing oxytocin to soar and milk to flow) – oh! delicious miracle of nature.

    Her giggles as she playfully turns my face away and back again with her hand.

    Her deep blue eyes looking up at me, sometimes smiling, sometimes focused, sometimes drunk with milk.

    Watching her fall asleep, breath becoming deeper and deeper, as she drinks or suckles.

    Sacred and natural
    The more attention I bring to the process, the deeper and more subtle are the layers I start to notice and I realise the intricacies of our humble role in the circle of life. Nothing is more normal and yet nothing is more sacred than this moment between me and my little one. Consciously breastfeeding like this is a gift to us both.

    Read this wonderful poem for a much more poetic account of nursing.

    And of course, in a different yet also very much the same way, much of the above applies to parents and caretakers bottle feeding babies as well.

    Mindful breastfeeding/nursing exercise

    Try this:

    While nursing your baby, become silent. Breathe deeply and relax. Soften your belly and feel it rise and fall as you breathe in and out. Sense the breath of your baby and the movement of his or her belly and chest as s/he breathes.

    Gently notice what comes to your attention: sounds, feelings, thoughts. Simply gently notice and let it stay or pass, like a white cloud in the clear blue sky. If your attention has drifted away for a moment, gently bring it back to the awareness of the breath and the sensation of your baby’s body and yours touching.

    Your baby may soon relax into your caring presence. By your breath alone, she knows she is safe. Also, if she is very young, her natural breath will still be arythmic and through sensing your rhythmic breath, she learns to regulate hers.

    If you are not used to this kind of practice, know that you are not just sitting still. You are ‘holding space’ for your child, that means: providing a safe container for her to move through all the phases and experiences of being a baby. The quality of your presence is worth so much for her.

    If you choose, you can now proceed to practice the 4-8 relaxation breath to invoke the relaxation response which is very beneficial for both you and your baby, or possibly even the conscious connected breath if you are free of emotional charge. More about that later :).

     

  • You need a system (and so do I)

    You need a system (and so do I)

    Fun disclosure: my loved ones will laugh when they read this. As with most of my blogs, I am growing up in public, sharing what works – and doesn’t work – for me, hoping it may work for you as well.

    If you tend to regularly forget your phone, loose your keys and waste your own time, then this will help: automation.

    If you are like me, it may sound unappealing at first. After all, we’re not robots, right? But I gave it a try and by now, I have incorporated wholesome behaviors into my life, mostly things that are otherwise easy to forget or that just don’t get the priority they deserve.

    Automating parts of my life helps me stick to my priorities, frees up brain space for stuff that matters most and saves time. Plus it helps me feel great and grateful several times a day. I like to see it as some kind of ninja training.

    Behavior

    One trick is to hook desired behaviors into your daily routine by connecting them with other stuff that happens anyway, things like getting up, brushing your teeth, going to the toilet, leaving the house. This is called the Tiny Habits method and I wrote this article about it: On Tiny Habits (or: why pee wins where willpower fails).

    When you automate your behaviors, they become habits. Example: I have a habit of drinking healthy, medicinal drinks (sole, smoothie, green tea, turmeric) every single day, just because I built that into my system. Years ago, I used to have a habit of drinking alcoholic beverages because I built that into my system – the choice is up to you ;).

    Organization

    Creating a system that works is also about shaping the environment to support your intentions. Example: I love smoothies and have a ‘smoothie basket’ ready in my fridge. Every morning after I get up, all I have to to is slide out this one basket and all ingredients are right there. No need to go find them in five different cupboards.

    Another example: my keys have one place in my bag for when I’m on the road and one in my room for when I’m home. They are always in the same place and I can blindly point them out to someone. The reason: I used to leave them everywhere and always be looking for them. I would curse myself but didn’t see the simple solution for a long time.

    TED talk

    I didn’t come up with this automation/system thing all by myself. Some years ago I watched a TED talk by a programmer who was all about systems. If you loose your keys all the time, she said, then what you need is a system. And that made so much sense to me. (Please, if anyone of you knows which talk I am referring to, let me know in the comments, I’d love to watch it again and give the lady credit.)

    Mindfulness

    Also, mindfulness plays a big role here. As long as I’m mindful, I’ll keep track of my stuff, whether consciously or even unconsciously: the info is stored somewhere and available when it is needed. But if I get carried away in the heat of the moment by something like the joy of a social interaction, the my attention for the practical stuff gets… well, lost.

    What helps then, is to just sit down and meditate (I practice Vipassana). It can be quite revealing!

    (Article coming soon: What if the system keeps failing?)

    Bottom line

    If something repeatedly doesn’t work in your life, in computer terms it means your system is flawed. Simply identify what’s wrong in your approach, and change it. It will require some conscious effort at first. Using the Tiny Habits method may make things easier, depending on the issue. And organizing your life in a way that supports your intentions, is key.