Author: Juuth

  • Stop selling your soul and start doing work that you love

    Stop selling your soul and start doing work that you love

    Do you ever feel that in order to make money, you are selling your soul?

    I used to feel like that:

    …When I was working for a company division where I didn’t agree with their approach and solutions.
    …When scoring a deal was so important that I worked with clients whose business was against my beliefs.
    …When I was running my own business and wasn’t clear on the value I could bring to people.

    I could say it felt horrible, but that is not even true. Back then, it felt… normal. Although some voice inside was always saying that maybe it could (and should) be different, I just gently put it aside.

    Until I didn’t.
    It took a mental breakdown for me to turn things around.

    I remember crying every morning in the car on my way to work. Until one day, I cracked. I panicked at work and went in fright mode. Heart racing, cold sweat, nausea, mind in overdrive, unstoppable tears. Exhausted.

    I stayed at home, sick, for months. And I wasn’t taking good care of myself either, drinking too much and smoking cigarettes.

    At the same time, I was finding ways towards healing: meditation, ayahuasca. Doing great amounts of self reflection, facing my shadows. Discovering my talents. Accepting the loving care and patience of my love Marco*, my friends and dear family.

    And eventually, all of that is what led me to become an entrepreneur.

    Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.
    Elisabeth Gilbert

    When I was at home, unable to go back to the work place, I started doing the things that I loved: cooking, writing, sharing recipes. I read many blogs and started my own. I taught myself how to work with WordPress.

    I didn’t know it at the time, but one year later I would be teaching people how to start THEIR own website. It felt great to be selling something which had helped me in my life. Even when I still considered myself a beginner, there were already so many people who could benefit from my experience! And as my skills and insight increased, my business mirrored that growth.

    The process hasn’t ended there. Still now, I keep moving closer towards more authenticity, more personality, more truth, speaking from the heart. No more selling your soul, ever. Unless “selling your soul” means “to make a living sharing what you value most”.

    I now exclusively work with people who aim to have their website and newsletter reflect what they REALLY stand for (and with individuals on their health through breathwork, but that’s another chapter). If you’re interested and wondering if this is for you, contact me.

    My work serves people to bring out the best in themselves and share their gift with the world, because I know from my own experience how deeply satisfying it is to live your life like this.

    What do you truly value in life? Is the way you earn money aligned with this?

    * Update: life goes on, things change and Judith and Marco are no longer together as a couple. We are still close friends.

  • Addiction, self love and trust

    Addiction, self love and trust

    [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_text]I wrote this post speaking from my own personal experiences with addiction and from those of others who have been open enough to share their stories with me.[/fusion_text]

    [fusion_text]If you are reading this, and you regard yourself as addicted to some substance or behavior or you worry about your attachment to some thing, some one or some state, let me first tell you this:

    You have no idea how powerful you are.

    Power to you

    I’m not talking willpower-powerful here. That’s a shallow kind of powerful. I am talking the kind of powerful that people find in themselves when they are deeply inspired with love or close to dying and ready to give up everything.

    Truth is, most people have no idea how powerful they truly are. And many will never find out until their dying day, only because nothing important enough shows up in their life. Imagine what a humongous shame that is! Therefore, here’s something else:

    Your addiction may be one of the greatest gifts you will ever receive.

    For if and when you transcend your addiction, you will find the biggest freedom imaginable.

    Endless flow

    Stop and feel for a moment. At this point, is your heart beating faster with recognition? Is at least a tiny something inside brimming with energy, because you thought this was going to be about all the things you are doing wrong and in stead you get this beautiful present? Yes? Awesome. You are aware of the endless flow that moves each of us. If you get a glimpse of the magic of this and value it highly enough, you will be hungry for more. This is from where you will cure your addiction. It’s not the only way, but it is by far the easiest. I know, because i have been there myself.

    What’s in the way

    Quite possibly however, your head is still telling you that you are not worthy or too weak to be considered powerful. That you have created too big a mess, that you may be too fucked up inside, that you have disappointed your loved ones once too many, pushed your limits too far and let yourself down in too many ways to believe that you are truly carrying a gift. It’s ok. This is the part where you get to see in relentless close-up the very thing that is in the way between you and freedom. See it for what it is, and it will transform.

    But first, a short explanation about addiction:[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

    “Wise beings do not want to remain a slave to the fear of pain. They permit the world to be what it is instead of being afraid of it.”

    Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

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    What is addiction?

    Here’s how i understand addiction: it is a pattern which grows from the deep longing to be relieved of pain. This pain may be a simple physical or emotional discomfort, but more often than not is caused by deeply rooted inner beliefs about what’s wrong with us and how we can not handle reality.[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_text]Later on, when our system has gotten used to the substance or experience (coffee, relationship, cigarettes, heroin, alcohol, shopping, chocolate, gambling, starving, name yours), withdrawal symptoms may come up and be an added cause of pain or discomfort all by themselves.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]The pattern becomes one of compulsive behavior: we do it more often and more strongly than is healthy or desirable and we can not moderate it anymore.

    By then, we either abandon ourselves and give up trying to change our behavior, or we start making promises to ourselves and our loved ones, then breaking those promises over and over because we still fear the feelings of pain and discomfort that inevitably come up: our deepest feelings of inadequacy.

    Protecting the fortress

    The addiction becomes our fortress, seemingly protecting us and at the same time cutting us of from the greater flow of life. Even so, we will protect it using all the means we can find. Here are a few examples of ways in which we protect the fortress. They may appear in your life very subtly or painfully unescapable:

    • finding excuses,
    • hiding our traces,
    • seeking companions (“friends” whom we are actually abusing so that we can be ok with sabotaging ourselves just a little bit longer),
    • feeling guilty (but not acting on it),
    • saying sorry (but knowing deep inside that the addiction still has our balls),
    • blaming others or circumstances for our tendencies,
    • faking just enough openness to be left alone (but hiding the part where we actually think we’re crossing the line),
    • feeling ashamed (and going for another round of whatever calms our voices of self hatred),
    • making promises (and then, with everybody calmed down, leaving it there).

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    Healing addiction: the way out is in

    Curing your addiction may seem very hard but if you trust the process enough, it will turn out to be the most ecstatic gift you can give yourself (read on to see how self love and trust will support your process). The gift is freedom. And the way out of suffering, is in.[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]So here’s what you need to do: quit your addictive behavior (whether it be smoking, drinking, fasting, cleaning or controlling everything) for some time. If you think you can’t, just imagine yourself quitting and see what happens: fear will arise. Resistance. Despair. Monkey-mind. Now look: what is making you feel so uneasy? Ask yourself: what’s so bad about this? Why does this hurt so much?[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

    “We are constantly trying to hold it all together. If you really want to see why you do things, then don’t do them and see what happens.”

    Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

    [/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_text]Many people end up finding a deep and hurtful inner conviction that they have picked up in your lifetime, probably at an early age already, such as this: I am worthless. I am a loser. I am not good enough. I am a burden. I am dumb. I am hopeless. I am weak.

    It’s these beliefs that keep you from being a supporting friend to yourself, someone you love, someone you can trust.[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

    “At any moment you can feel frustration, anger, fear, jealousy, insecurity or embarrassment. If you watch you will see the heart is trying to push it all away. If you want to be free you have to learn to stop fighting all these human feelings.”

    Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

    [/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]Until you stop running from these beliefs (thought patterns), until you stop fighting your human feelings, their voices will sound louder and louder. Shutting them up will require more and more effort. Your doses of whatever will need to be higher and higher.

    Your drinking, smoking or sex addiction will have you feeling worse about yourself than ever before, and people around you will start to express worries about you or reject your presence.[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_text]Thus, you are confirming your own beliefs: i am weak, i am a loser, i am a burden. And, possibly: people don’t understand me. The world is against me.

    You will not see this spiral and its effects in full clarity until you step out of it. And stepping out of it seems hard, because you are so involved! Naturally, you believe what you are seeing: you are weak. Where on Earth would you find the strength to quit the thing that is easing the pain for you?

    This is where self love and trust come in. Be prepared to give up control of your fortress and start talking to (who you think is) the enemy.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]

    Stay present

    In stead of moving away, go exactly where it hurts the most. Watch and listen carefully.

    You will start meeting a part of your psyche that longs to be seen, actually, recognized, finally, for its needs. Listen and deep inside you will find a voice that desperately wants to be heard. Be with it, lovingly, and let its energy be expressed. Let it rage, tremble, kick, cry out. Share, if possible, with someone who is willing to listen without judgment. It’s not you, it’s a voice. It just wants to be heard.

    If you manage to do this, you have found the place in you from where you can heal. This is the place in you that you can trust. And so can others, as they will start to see in due time. This is from where you allow space for anything to come up, for old stories to emerge, for old wounds to heal. Anything can exist in this space, even the harshest judgments you hold about yourself.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]

    Self love

    Do you love yourself?

    It’s an awesome feeling if you can look in the mirror and truly find your closest friend looking back at you, smiling a knowing and supportive smile. Does your mirror show a true friend?

    Sadly, your answer may very well be “no” or “i don’t know”. Do you feel how sad this is? Then feel the sadness, explore it for a bit. And notice: whoever is feeling sad, must care at least a little bit about your wellbeing, right?

    When healing your addiction, feeling love for yourself will be essential. If you don’t feel it, this is the first thing you need to work on. Be prepared to see the darkest parts of you and still in your heart put a loving arm around yourself. Ask people to support you when you can not do it on your own.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]

    Trust

    Do you trust yourself?

    If you are addicted (or worried about your use or attachments) you can’t really trust your own behavior, can you? After all, you will make promises and break them. You may lie and steal to fulfill your needs. You may set your goals and then change your mind, over and over. You will place the blame outside of yourself. You may manipulate people into doing or believing what you want them to.

    You simply can not trust this part of you that believes it is (being) limited and in need of stuff, a shot, a partner. Behavioral patterns (including thoughts and emotions) are strong. They are strengthened with repetition and you have given them lots and lots of food over the course of your addicted lifetime. These thoughts and behaviors wake up easily. In my personal experience, the voices of addiction can not be trusted. Especially when making promises or finding excuses.

    But here’s the good news: even if you can not trust your personal thoughts, wishes and behavior in any given moment, there is a force that is far greater than you which is worth every ounce of trust. When this force starts living through you, it ignites infinite power in you. It will reveal itself when you start trusting it.

    So: YES, I trust you. I trust your infinite potential, your drive towards freedom, your connection into the source of all being, which is pure life force power. I trust your strength, which is boundless, and i trust your ability to break your own chains.

    And so should you.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]

    Love yourself. Trust that your thoughts are random and that life force energy, the very power that keeps you breathing and alive, will inspire you and win over any disabling beliefs… if you let it.

    Ask for help from people who will support you in holding your commitment to yourself and who will not judge when you slip. If possible, find a buddy you can call at any time. Agree on the kind of support you give each other.

    Ditch your addicted friends (at least temporarily) if they are not ready to join you in giving up this behavior. They may be great people (they are!), but their behavior is toxic to you.

    Surround yourself with healthy, happy people.

    Have a plan. Know what you will do when a craving and compulsive thoughts kick in. This is where you take charge over the ‘old’, conditioned you who is still addicted. Call your buddy, go for a run (don’t bring money), drink a glass of water, make a painting, do household stuff, meditate, Skype mom.

    Go for a walk at least once a day. If you can, get a dog. It will give you exercise and an uncomplicated loving relationship.

    Be patient with the people closest to you. Don’t be discouraged when they are not ready to trust again. This is your process and it will take as long as it needs. Same goes for them.

    Big one: Open up about your process. It will give you clarity and you will be amazed to hear how many people are also struggling with addiction. It’s an amazing experience to go from feeling like a failure to seeing how your experience can help and inspire others.

    These are just a few tips. If you have more, please share!

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    I wrote this post speaking from my own personal experiences with addiction and from those of others who have been open enough to share their stories with me.

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  • On Tiny Habits (or: why pee wins where willpower fails)

    Do you have the tiniest inclination to make a change in the way you spend your days? Then watch this video on creating Tiny Habits. It may change your life.

    For all the times you tried to incorporate something into your lifestyle and gave up after a few tries or even only one… this is the thing that truly makes a difference.

    Here’s how it works: in stead of using willpower, which costs you a lot of energy and is far less effective, you can set tiny goals and make yourself successful at them time and time again.

    You’ll start liking your new behavior, feel great about yourself and, out of enthusiasm (as opposed to willpower) naturally extend your new tiny habit into a Big one.

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    Tiny examples

    • After i pee, i do 5 situps.
    • After i brush my teeth, i floss 1 tooth.
    • After i stand up from my chair, i pick up 1 thing to clean.
    • After i send an email, i take 1 minute to watch my breath.
    • After i get up in the morning, i light 1 candle.

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    What’s this thing about pee you mentioned?

    Using the Tiny Habits method, you will hook your new behavior into your day by anchoring it to something you do anyway. My favorite trigger has always been peeing: “after i pee, i will…”.

    I love having a strong belly. It makes me feel grounded and full of energy and inner strength. To strengthen my belly, i want to do daily situps. I choose an amount of situps that (to me) is ridiculously low, so i will have no excuse to skip. So i picked up this tiny habit:
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    Each time i pee, i will do 20 situps.

    I started only two days ago, i already did about 8 or 10 times 20 situps and i feel great about it!

    Btw, i know that to many, 20 situps is not ‘tiny’ but rather a lot. So whatever you consider tiny is personal. If i would do pushups, i would probably start with 3. The trick is to set your goal to an amount that is something you can not NOT do because there is just no excuse. It may sound silly but this is the way it works.

    How does it work?

    Tiny Habits is a great method to introduce new habits in your lifestyle in a fun and super-sustainable way.

    I have been using it often to get started with wholesome habits in my life such as drinking lemon juice every morning, sprouting my own beans, exercising daily and tidying my home.

    Here are the steps according to B.J. Fogg, the creator of Tiny Habits:

    Step 1: Get specific
    What behavior do you want?
    Translate target outcomes and goals into behaviors.
    And be specific.

    Step 2: Make it easy
    How can you make the behavior easy to do?
    Simplicity changes behavior.

    Step 3: Trigger the behavior
    What will prompt the behavior?
    Some triggers are natural. Others you must design.
    No behavior happens w/o a trigger.

    Just watch the video, then all of the above will make even more sense. Or ask your question in the comments, i will do my best to answer from my own experience and insight.

    If you want to know more and get automated email guidance by B.J. Fogg, the creator of Tiny Habits, check out this site: http://tinyhabits.com/ (new window).[/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

  • Fresh Apple, Lime & Mint Smoothie

    Fresh Apple, Lime & Mint Smoothie

    Fruit is such a delight for both body and spirit. I have never eaten this much fruit in my life (have always been a big fan of veggies, though) and i feel great. Pure, connected, clear, energetic, open. Really i wish this upon everybody.

    Smoothie Wonderland
    The main way i eat fruits nowadays, is through smoothies. I’m still in Thailand as i’m writing this, and that obviously means i am in Smoothie Wonderland. If you have never tasted tropical fruits, let me tell you: you’re missing out. Your average fruit tastes twice as rich, sweet and juicy over here. Just saying.

    Exotic apples
    What’s truly ‘exotic’ here though, is apples. Yes, really! Apples, the fruits that are so normal to those of us who live in moderate climates, are imported into Asia and are therefore quite expensive, especially on this island (we’re in Koh Phangan in the Thai Gulf).

    So my appreciation for our super-healthy, crunchy, refreshing apple has skyrocketed. This smoothie recipe really does it justice: it’s simple yet delicious. I use green, mildly sour apples for this one, they’re probably Granny Smiths.

    Young, fresh coconuts… if available
    So there is a luxury here that not all of you get all the time: easy access to young, fresh coconuts. While i can, i like to use a coconut shake as the basis for most of my smoothies, including this one. If you can’t, please find some substitute ideas below the recipe.

    Recipe: Apple Lime Mint Smoothie (with young, fresh coconut)

    1 green apple
    1 young fresh coconut
    2 limes
    4-5 stalks of fresh mint
    raw organic honey
    handful of ice cubes

    First, chop the coconut, catch the fluid (coconut water or juice) and scrape the meat from the shell. Blend the coconut water and meat to make a coconut shake (really fresh coconut milk: the best!!).

    Then, cut the apple in small chunks and squeeze the limes. You can use both the stalks and leaves of the fresh mint. Only discard the sturdier bottom part of the stalk.

    Add the honey and icecubes. Go slow on the honey; you can always add more.

    Blend everything together until smooth. Taste to add more honey if desired. It’s nicest when the sweet and sour experience are about equal, if that makes sense.

    To substitute the coconut
    While we don’t get young, fresh coconut everywhere, in some places we can still get ‘older’ coconut (how to open one). You can use coconut water from this thing and still blend some of its meat, too, although it will be more fibrous. Add a few extra ice cubes.

    Many stores sell coconut water in glass or carton nowadays. Not the same, but still close. Probably the best substitute even, but… can be pricy.

    Add a small cup of coconut cream from a carton or can plus a few extra ice cubes. Very different taste from fresh coconut shake, but probably still nice. Although i think it may take away from the deliciously fresh and tangy apple taste. Let me know if you try this one!

    Finally, you can also just add ice cubes (or water). You want to use an extra lime and spoonful of honey in this case.

    That’s it for today, enjoy!

  • Mindmapping for beginners

    Mindmapping for beginners

    Have you ever felt overloaded with thoughts and ideas? Was it ever hard for you to start writing on a report, presentation or project because there was so much going on in your head?

    Knowing how to make a mindmap gives you clarity, focus, creativity and helps you to convey a set of ideas more easily to other people. I often advise clients to develop their ideas in a mind map.

    Be it their life vision, business ideas, or website wishes: what used to be an amorphous cloud of thoughts, questions and to do’s through creating the mindmap becomes a beautiful and energizing set of ideas and their relationships.

    It may require some exercise, but soon you’ll be drawing mindmaps for everything. All my ideas, I pour in a mind map. Whether it is a vision for years or a site plan for the day: there is a mind map. It especially helps me to clear my mind when it’s overloaded with big and small ideas.

    Why mind mapping in stead of a to do list?

    The reason that mind mapping works so well is that the mind mapping process reflects our brain processes way better than linear lists do. Think about it: thoughts are never neatly categorized by your thought machine, are they? Details and guidelines, risk factors and pots of gold, they all come in the same minute, with the same sense of urgency. And just when you’re working out something BIG, occasionally there will be a little voice saying: “I need new shoelaces.”

    For all those ‘entities’ there is space in the mindmapping process. Eventually, they will all settle in their rightful place.

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    Become an expertMy dear friend Tomas Libas is rapid learning coach.

    In a recent workshop here in Thailand, he advised to always create a mind map when reading a book. This way, you can easily revisit the book anytime and in a glance get the essence of it.

    Review your mind maps daily, then weekly, then monthly and yearly and everything you read, will stick.

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    How to create a mind map

    This basic approach has been working wonders for me:

    Sit down with an empty sheet of paper (or a few of them), a pen and colored pencils or crayons.

    Close your eyes. Take a few slow breaths.

    Now gently focus your concentration on the subject of your mindmap.

    Then, open your eyes, take the pen and start writing keywords.
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    Dump all your ideas, knowledge, tasks (depending on what your mind maps is about) from your brain onto paper. Use keywords. It may be criss-cross. You will categorize later, don’t worry about that now. Good or bad idea, important or unimportant, large or small, crazy or completely obvious, everything gets a spot. Just write down everything that comes to mind.

    It’s like popping popcorn

    Have you ever popped popcorn (in a pan or in the microwave oven)? Have you noticed how the speed at which the corn kernels pop first increases, until there’s a blast, and then it slows down?

    Mindmapping feels the same. You will notice that at first you’ll be searching a bit, preparing the brain for the release to come. Finding the ‘way in’.

    Probably within one or a few minutes, you will be writing fast, because there is so much ‘stuff’ (from the brightest insight to the smallest nagging thought) occupying space in your mind that wants to come out. This will build up to the ‘popcorn blast’.

    Finally, you will slow down. The rate at which new ideas surface, will decrease. You will know when you are ready. Take a minute to enjoy the spaciousness of your mind at ease…. Ahhhhh.

    Now, it’s time for the next step.

    In a moment, you’ll circle the words that are related with the same color. First, take a moment to look at your paper and take up the words that are there.

    You will start to see how some of them belong together in groups. So now, grab your crayons and start circling, using one color for each group.

    This is the part where new insights often emerge as well! For example, you may find a whole new source of solutions to your problem.

    Tennis-mindmapFinished with coloring? Grab a new sheet of paper, put your subject in the center and from the center, draw branches. give each color its own branch. If a group is subdivided, make a smaller branch. You may also doodle and get all artsy with it, if you like. When you finish, you have a colorful and inspiring image instead of a boring list like any other.

    New links and fresh ideas
    In workshops, I have facilitated groups of people in mindmapping together. That is a magical process where new things arise that previously didn’t. This happens also if you make a mind map just for yourself: you will start to see connections that you had not put first. Insights and epiphanies will arise, and you and your project can go into flow.

    Many people use a mind map when they give a presentation. It’s easier to remember your presentation and improvisation comes more naturally when using a mindmap. The one that is shown above, for example, would be great if you wanted to teach people the basics of tennis.

    In the Inspired Web Presence Program, one of the many things we cover is how you can use the mindmapping process to create awesome, inspiring blog posts or a the outline of an ebook, for example. Learn more.

    This blog post is an adaptation of my earlier post on mindmapping on my Dutch website: In1DagOnline.nl.
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  • How embracing resistance helps me to Get Things Done

    How embracing resistance helps me to Get Things Done

    There was a time in my life when i used to go to work every morning, crying and in despair.

    I did not want to be in this job anymore, but out of fear i didn’t allow these feelings to move me into action. What i feared was the sense of failure. And i didn’t know where to find my way out. I was exhausting myself by moving away from the truth that was shouting to my face, because i was afraid to face it.

    I was naming all the good things about this job, pushing myself to believe them and push away the feelings of despair that existed deep within.

    Eventually, the decision was made for me. I had exhausted myself enough to be burned out, sick, unable to work for months.

    Embrace resistance

    Do you know this feeling when you’re ‘supposed’ to do something, but you don’t feel like doing it at all? It may be as simple as doing the dishes, or taking your kids from school. Or it may be as deeply rooted as being with your partner or taking care of your kids… or even living your life altogether.

    Here is one thing that i found incredibly helpful in dealing with the stuff in our lives that we would rather NOT have there:

    Embrace your resistance.

    Among other things, embracing your resistance will help you:

    1. Get things done anyway
    2. Show you what you truly value
    3. Change anything you want

    How does that work?

    So embracing is the opposite of resisting, right? Suppose i feel great resistance in finishing a task, such as finishing my ebook.

    As long as i resist my resistance, it has a piece of me. I am slave to the experience of resisting. I may hate the task, think badly of myself, get angry at the circumstances that put me here or just close off my feelings altogether, finding excuses to make it all seem right while deep inside, it doesn’t feel alright.

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    All these things can come from resisting resistance (or any experience):

    Procrastination (putting off till tomorrow), shame, self-hatred, guilty feelings, loss or uncontrollable increase of sexual drive, loss of energy, physical ailments, loss of creativity, addiction, irritability, thrill-seeking, exhaustion, aggression, apathy, depression… and much, much more.

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    Maybe i have even found a spiritual path that helps me to move away from what is going on inside. It may look like ‘noting, knowing, letting go’ as is taught in Vipassana meditation, for example, but actually be my ‘advanced’ way of moving away from my experience.

    Or my spiritual practice may tell me i need to open up all my chakras, one by one, and only then i will be free. Until then, i am not enough, more work needs to be done and my suffering continues.

    Sadly, where i am now, i see this happening all the time.
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    This is why i propose to embrace whatever IS in this very moment. Especially if it looks ugly. When i consciously embrace, it’s like shouting a cosmic YES. In daily life, it may sound like this:

    “YES, I really deeply wish i wouldn’t need to finish this project right now. I just want to curl up on the couch.”
    “YES, i really f*cking hate having to do this right now!”
    “YES, i don’t like meeting this person at ALL.”

    Can you feel the difference?

    Embracing any thoughts and feelings of resistance will help you rise beyond. You will see that acknowledging whatever is, opens up space immediately. I have seen people burst out in deep unstoppable laughter of relief just because they could finally allow what was here all the time into the fullness of their experience.

    This one who is aware of the experience, is free.

    (If you still believe you are not free, look deeper until you find the place where you are. People come to realize this Freedom in prison and during the holocaust.)

    Embracing resistance to whatever is, will help you…

    1. Get things done anyway

    Some things just need doing. We all live in a human body that needs to be taken care of. We may have children under our guidance and we may have made commitments to people and causes.

    Maybe you fear that once you acknowledge these feelings of resistance, you will not do your obligations anymore. But realize this; you are setting yourself free. From this Freedom, truth and insight arises. You will finally be free to say:

    YES i hate doing this AND i will still do it because i love my kids and this is the commitment i made and CHOOSE to hold.

    We are free to feel resistance and choose to get things done anyway. We may feel uncomfortable, it may be unpleasurable, but because we are aware of the fullness of our experience and everything in it, we are ALL THE MORE free to go ahead and sort our stuff.

    2. Show you what you truly value

    Because we are no longer closing off, our experience is full. In full, open awareness, our deepest longings and truths will reveal themselves.

    Your resistance is telling you something. It may just be telling you that you don’t like something. That’s fine, no biggie! Outsource it next time or choose to just do this thing you don’t like and be happy about it.

    Or… it may be your heart speaking to you that you are not living in truth. Maybe you no longer wish to work for this employer. Maybe your relationship needs an honest meeting in truth. Maybe you need help in caring for your kids, to free up space for your own creative expression.

    Embracing your resistance will open you up to the full experience of being You and from there, your answers will effortlessly bubble up.

    3. Change anything you want

    If you wanted to change the weather, you probably couldn’t. But you can be happy and in flow regardless. You are Free. And from this freedom, you can always ask yourself: what is my next step?

    Is it to drop into being to listen to your inner voice, or to step into action? Do what needs to be done, and find your Freedom inside. This will change everything. Start practicing this and you will find that wherever you walk, the ground will come up to meet you. Go check for yourself; for this knowing has to come from your own experience.

    And please… if you wish, share your experiences. I’d be very happy to hear them!

    I write more on this in my ebook. You can download it by clicking the link and leaving your name and email.[/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

  • WordPress-tip: Je dashboard opruimen

    Houd jij je werkplek ook graag schoon? Is het je wel eens opgevallen dat je WordPress-dashboard standaard allerlei informatie toont waar je helemaal geen behoefte aan hebt als je gewoon een nieuwe blogpost wilt schrijven of je pagina’s bijwerken?

    Houd je liever ruimte vrij voor productiviteit en inspiratie? Het is zó gefixt, je moet alleen het knopje even weten te vinden:

    Zorg dat je je dashboard voor je ziet (klik anders links bovenin het WordPress-adminmenu op Dashboard).
    Klik dan rechts boven in je scherm op Scherminstellingen. Een sliding bar met opties komt naar beneden. Ieder vinkvakje staat voor één van de infoblokken in je dashboard. Bekijk wat je wel en niet wilt hebben.

    scherminstellingen-wordpress-dashboard-opruimen

    Mijn suggesties:

    Heb je een blog, vink dan aan:

    • Op dit moment
    • Activiteit
    • En eventueel: versneld concept

    Ik gebruik die laatste optie graag om ideeën voor een blogpost die ik later wil uitwerken, snel te bewaren. Die ideeën staan dan meteen op de juiste plek.

    Als je plugins hebt geïstalleerd die juist info tonen op je dashboard omdat dat handig is (zoals Google Analytics), laat je die natuurlijk staan.

    Gebruik je de blogfunctie van WordPress niet, toon dan alleen Op dit moment.

    Opgeruimd staat netjes!

     

    P.S. Pro-tip: op dezelfde manier kun je je Bericht- en Paginabewerkingsschermen naar je wens inrichten!

  • WordPress-tip: Een afbeelding in de zijbalk plaatsen

    Vandaag kreeg ik een vraag van een klant:

    Ik wilde een foto vervangen op mijn website in de ‘sidebar blog’, maar dat is mislukt.
    Ik weet wel hoe je een foto in een pagina moet invoegen, maar in een widget werkt het blijkbaar weer anders en ik weet niet hoe.
    Wil je mij laten weten hoe ik in die widget weer een foto kan plaatsen?

    Twee manieren
    Er zijn twee manieren om een afbeelding (foto, tekening, banner, pdf) in de zijbalk te plaatsen:

    1. Met behulp van een afbeeldingswidget
    2. Door html te typen of plakken in een tekstwidget

    1.  Afbeeldingswidget

    Deze manier heeft als voordeel dat het uploaden van een plaatje in je zijbalk voortaan net zo werkt als in een pagina of bericht. Een nadeel: de afbeeldingswidget zit (nog) niet standaard met je WordPresspakket meegeleverd. Daarom moet je eerst een plugin downloaden en activeren. Daarna zal de widget beschikbaar zijn.

    Hier zijn de stappen:

    1. In je WordPress-admin, ga naar Plugins, Nieuwe plugin.
    2. In het volgende scherm zoek je via het zoekveld naar “Image widget”.
    3. Kies de plugin van Modern Tribe Inc. door te klikken op Nu installeren.
    4. De plugin wordt geinstalleerd en waarschijnlijk automatisch geactiveerd.
    5. Ga nu naar Weergave, Widgets. Dit is de pagina waar je widgets kunt plaatsen in de diverse ‘zijbalkgebieden’ van je website. De pagina bestaat uit drie delen: links het WordPress-menu, in het midden alle beschikbare widgets en ten slotte rechts de zijbalken.
    6. Vind de ‘Afbeelding widget’ en sleep die widget naar de gewenste zijbalk (of klik op de widget, selecteer de juiste zijbalk en klik Toevoegen).
    7. Je kunt nu een afbeelding toevoegen zoals je gewend bent te doen in een pagina of bericht. Eventuele tekst schrijf je in het veld ‘onderschrift’.

    2.  HTML typen of plakken in een tekstwidget

    Deze manier heeft als voordeel dat je meteen aan de slag kunt, zonder een plugin te hoeven installeren. Je moet wel een beetje comfortabel zijn met (het knippen en plakken van) html. (Lees deze manier sowieso even; het is altijd handig om te weten hoe je een WordPress-pagina of -bericht kunt gebruiken om html-code te genereren!)

    1. Open een nieuw bericht of pagina.
    2. Voeg hier de afbeelding in zoals je gewend bent te doen.
    3. Klik rechts bovenin op het tabje Tekst (naast WYSIWYG)
    4. Je ziet nu de html-code die bij het de ingevoegde afbeelding hoort. Deze code zegt iets over de locatie van de afbeelding, de uitlijning, de afmeting enz. Kopieer deze volledige html-code, die begint met < en eindigt met >.
    5. Ga nu naar Weergave, Widgets. Voeg een tekstwidget toe aan de zijbalk waar het plaatje moet komen.
    6. Plak de html-code in de tekstwidget. Wil je nog tekst typen die bij het plaatje hoort, dan kan dat gewoon in dezelfde widget.

    Een paar tips nog:

    • Bij het uploaden van een plaatje, kun je kiezen waar het naartoe linkt. Kies hier Geen (als je op het plaatje klikt, gebeurt er niets) of vul de url in van een relevante pagina in jouw website.
    • Zorg bij het invoegen van het plaatje (in de widget of pagina/bericht) dat het al de gewenste afmeting heeft. Je kunt de afmeting instellen als je op het punt staat om het plaatje in te voegen. Klik dan op Afbeelding bewerken en schaal de afbeelding naar het juiste formaat.

     

    Veel plezier!

  • Chai Banana Smoothie

    Chai Banana Smoothie

    This new smoothie is deliciously creamy because of the banana, and the spices remind me of India and of cozy Christmas times at home.

    Cozy and cold Christmas
    Where i was born, Christmas is often cold. If we’re lucky, it even gets snowy! And so i cherish many memories of being inside a warm home while outside the wind is blowing and the streets are icy white. We would share heartwarming moments and food with family, while listening to Radio 2 playing the Top 2000 songs of all time… Hmmm. Beautiful.

    Missing loved ones
    Drinking this smoothie brings those memories right back to me. Maybe it’s my way to join you guys in cold and wintery Europe (and the rest of the northern hemisphere) in your holiday season. Of course i’ll especially miss my mum and sisters and their lovers and my little niece who will celebrate her first Christmas ever.

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    Tea in Thailand: hot or cold?

    Nice to know: when ordering a tea here on the island, it’s custom to say in your order whether you like your tea hot or cold.

    At home, tea is always hot unless you specifically call it ice tea. Here, it’s different. Hot ginger tea has now become my standard order.

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    Warming spices…
    Why it reminds me of autumn and winter? Probably because of the dried orange and cloves, a classic combination and a scent that i really love. And because in the typical autumn tea blends, there’s cloves and cinnamon like in this recipe.

    …for all types of weather
    Still, i should say… of course you can really drink this year round. Heck, in parts of India it’s always summer and it’s not like they ever stop drinking chai tea, which is made of ‘winter’ spices ;).
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    Try it cold or even frozen
    If a cold and spicy banana drink is what you fancy, try refrigerating some coconut cream overnight and blend the coconut ice cubes through the banana shake the next day. I’m sure this would also make for an awesome icecream!

    Recipe for Chai Banana Smoothie

    Buy or make your favorite chai spice mixture, but leave out the tea and add dried orange. A delicious ‘herbal’ blend that i found here in Thailand contains dried orange, clove, cinnamon, black pepper, cardamom and ginger.

    Make a strong herbal tea from this blend.´The end result will be about 50-50 banana and tea. Adjust to your preference, of course.

    Slice about one very ripe banana per two servings and put in the blender. Slowly add the tea so that the banana will be smooth, with no chunks.

    That’s it?
    That’s it! Just banana and herbal tea, couldn’t be easier right?

    Add honey/dates or lime, some coconut cream and maybe even a tiny grain of salt if you like to play around some more.[/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

  • Fruit smoothie with coconut, mint & lime

    Fruit smoothie with coconut, mint & lime

    The market streets here on Koh Pha Ngan are full of colorful fruits, leafs, seeds and roots. One of the first things we bought after settling on the island was a blender, because although restaurants offer a wide range of juices or shakes, i was quite inspired to make my own.

    Juices, shakes & smoothies in Thailand
    Order a fruit juice in Thailand and you’ll get blended fruit or fruit juice with added water/ice and sugar, unless your vendor explicitly says the juice is pure. Shakes and smoothies: the same. It’s just the usual way to drink fruits here.

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    Vegan/raw/health food on Koh Pha Ngan

    There are plenty of health bars and yoga centers on the island that provide a full menu for vegans, raw foodies, health freaks and normal people who like to drink pure fruits with no additions.

    I noticed that some of the guys at such places are easily as smooth as the drinks… Beware what you’re taking in, sisters. Just sayin’ ;D.

    Back to the vegan food places: they’re a bit more expensive but honestly, the food is amazing.

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    [fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”yes”]However it is often possible to ask for no ice, no sugar and/or fresh coconut water instead of iced ‘normal’ water. This may cost you around 20 Baht extra (50 eurocents, roughly).

    Home is where the blender is
    Still, i dare say… the best smoothies (until now) are the ones i make at home, from fruits that i get at the open shops in Thong Sala. That’s probably because i just love to create my own food. Even if that only means tossing it in a blender ;).

    Tropical smoothie
    This morning we enjoyed a smoothie of mango and dragon fruit with coconut cream, mint and lime. Delicious, refreshing, full of life. Marco took a beautiful picture and i’ll share the recipe, so that you may share a bit in this tropical bliss.
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    Tropical? I know that for many of you it’s cold and rainy right now. But there’s a remedy! Try the combination of coconut and lime, close your eyes and you’ll be in sunny paradise for a little while, i promise. If there’s no mango where you are, try using bottled mango juice from a good brand or use local seasonal fruits like kiwifruit or pear:

    Recipe: Fruit smoothie with coconut, mint & lime

    • Local ripe fruits, preferably a bit starchy such as: mango, kiwifruit, papaya, banana, pear or
    • Juice of 1 or 2 limes
    • 1-2 handfuls of mint (stalks too except for the woody ends)
    • gulp of coconut cream (i love the white & blue Kara brand; it’s thick and full of flavor)

    Just blend everything up nicely, add some ice if you wish, garnish with mint and enjoy.

    And lastly… stay tuned because i’m planning on recreating the PERFECT holiday smoothie. If it’s cold where you are, this will get you all warm and cozy.[/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]