Category: Breath- and bodywork

  • Beyond the emotion: deepening into the felt sense

    If you’re someone who feels deeply—who walks through the world attuned to the subtle shifts of emotion, to beauty, melancholy, longing, and awe—then you likely already know that emotions are powerful guides. They tell us when something matters.

    But what happens when we begin a presence practice like The Presence Process or any form of inner work that invites us not just to observe or name our emotions, but to feel them—in the body and without the story?

    For many emotionally attuned people (and if you know the Enneagram, I am writing this specifically with Enneagram type 4s in mind), there’s a subtle but significant shift that can make all the difference: learning to move through the emotion into the felt sense, rather than staying caught in the emotional narrative.

    Emotion as a Doorway, Not a Destination

    It’s easy—and sometimes comforting—to linger in the emotion itself. To feel deeply is a superpower, but often, our identity gets wrapped up in that capacity. To wield this superpower and not be consumed by it, we need to let go of the story of the emotion, its label—and to sink into the raw, wordless sensation of it.

    I liken this sensation to a vast inner landscape with areas that you may associate with the belly, heart, shoulders, jaw, etc, , but in the gut, the chest, the shoulders, the jaw, etc, but . It might be heat, tightness, a swirl, a shimmer, a numb patch. It may not even have a name. That’s okay. That’s actually the point.

    Ways to Deepen into the Felt Sense

    Here are a few invitations that may help if you find yourself looping in the emotion without quite landing in the body:

    Reframe the Journey
    You’re not leaving your depth behind. You’re going deeper. Feeling the body is not a betrayal of your emotional wisdom—it’s a deepening into truth beyond the drama. It’s the poetry that hasn’t been written yet.

    Shift From Story to Sensation
    When strong emotion arises, gently ask:

    • Where do I feel this in my body?

    • What’s the texture—tight, heavy, spacious, hot, numb?

    • Can I stay with the physical sensation, without needing to name the emotion or explain it?

    This takes us out of mental processing and into somatic presence.

    Let Go of the “Why”
    You might find that the mind wants to loop around why you feel this way—who said what, what memory it stirs, what it means. That’s natural. But when you’re practicing presence, you’re invited to drop the “why” and just feel what is.

    Ground in Neutral Awareness
    Presence isn’t a mood. It’s not about feeling peaceful or blissful or even emotionally clear. It’s about being with what’s here, just as it is. Presence is open, grounded awareness—neutral, stable, kind. Let that be your anchor.

    Use the Breath
    Breath can help guide us below the surface of emotion. Try:

    • Breathing into the lower belly or soles of your feet

    • Letting your exhale be longer than your inhale

    • Feeling the breath as a gentle wave that moves under the emotion, not through it

    Notice When You’re “Hovering”
    If you feel like you’re circling a familiar emotional space—again and again—pause. Ask yourself: Am I actually feeling this fully, or am I orbiting it? Then gently drop the story, and come back to breath and body.

    Emotions are valuable. But they are not the final stop. When we learn to stay with them—beyond identification, beyond narrative—we open into a deeper kind of healing. One that isn’t about fixing or explaining, but simply about being here, now, in this, unconditionally.

    And that, quietly and without drama, can change everything.

    (If you are ready to commit to this practice and learn to use your emotions as a superpower, and not be overpowered by them, join our next Presence Process group.)

  • Jeff Foster: “Trauma, thank you for protecting me”

    TRAUMA, THANK YOU FOR PROTECTING ME

    Here’s the main thing you have to understand about trauma: it wants to keep you hidden.

    Why? It’s trying to protect you.
    It’s only ever trying to keep you safe.

    It imagines threats where there are none.

    Stuck in the past, it wants to keep you close to what you know,
    close to what you can control.

    When you begin to leave your comfort zone, take that brave step,
    express yourself, assert a boundary, try something new, separate from the know world,
    it will assume, based on past evidence, that YOU ARE IN DANGER,
    and it will do everything it can to get you back to safety,
    convincing you to be small again –
    in order to protect you from failure, ridicule, abuse, further shaming.

    Your mind will scream.
    Your body will shake.
    Your muscles will tense up.
    Your heart will race.
    Your breath will quicken.
    Everything will feel… wrong.

    We can’t destroy this conditioned fear. We can’t get ‘over’ it.
    The more we resist it, turn against it, judge it as bad or wrong, or fight it, the worse it gets.
    The more we reject it, the more we reaffirm to it that the world is truly unsafe.

    We cannot delete the fear but we can turn towards it. Understand it. Have compassion for it.
    Have a more loving conversation with it:

    “Thank you for protecting me, trauma. You served me well. But maybe the danger has passed.
    Maybe I don’t need your protection today. Maybe I am bigger, stronger, safer than I knew…”

    Then, the very same energy that suppressed your authentic self, starts to work for you.
    Liberated, it begins to     express your authentic self, helping you play, be creative, speak up,
    take up space, and take those courageous steps into the Unknown.

    The very same energy that suppressed you, now works to express you.
    The energy that used to shut you down from life, now spends its time trying to open you up to life.

    You learn: IT’S SAFE TO BE ME.

    This is the greatest thing of all. It really is.
    To feel safe within yourself.
    To know that your nervous system is always working for you.
    To love your body, and to know that you are not your body.

    Trauma is condensed life energy, that is all. Stuck, constricted, it longs to be liberated.
    It longs to be seen, known, felt.

    When it’s met with love, it can blossom, YOU can blossom, into pure creativity.

     

    Jeff Foster

     

    What Jeff is saying here, is my own lived experience and I have seen it happen with many others – friends and clients: as soon as we turn towards our trauma (either ‘big T’ Trauma, ‘small t’ trauma or any experience in life that seems to have cut us off, made us small, tense us up)…

    …it gets liberated and this part of us re-awakens to our true, creative self.

    We all have experienced some form of trauma, of life energy getting stuck, and there is a gentle way to return to the pureness of our being.

    I am not a trauma therapist, but it is my job and passion to help all people find inner peace through movement, compassion and breath. On my socials (Insta, Facebook) and in the online school, you will find exercises to help you along your journey.

     
    Image credit: Photo by Matthew Waring on Unsplash

  • Trauma, the body and your breath

    This is a first post on a topic that is very close to my heart: trauma.

    In my eyes, trauma work could save the world. Even if you don’t really have any traumas yourself ;). In my own life, I’ve experienced just how incredibly healing breathwork and bodywork can be. The breath creates space, allows life energy to flow, and softens pain. It’s so deeply reassuring to feel ‘in tune’ again with the rhythms of my heart, my breath, and the nature around me.

    I feel whole and connected again, instead of torn apart and separated. And connection means safety, and safety means trust that I can handle ‘life’, no matter what happens. A huge difference from the fearful, avoidant strategies I used in the past just to avoid feeling.

    This transformation has been the most meaningful one in my life. At its core, it is the transformation from fear to love. From prison to freedom. From brokenness to wholeness. From chaos to calm. From war to peace. From darkness to light.

    Trauma arises when you don’t fully process an event physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s like the shock gets frozen in your body—often literally in the form of tension or tics. A pattern of fear, disgust, defense, anger, and the like develops, and you increasingly try to avoid those experiences.

    This costs a tremendous amount of energy.

    If it doesn’t get the right attention, you can remain trapped for years in a pattern of learned helplessness, panic or rage attacks, emotional outbursts, apathy, numbness, and addiction.

    What helps, first and foremost, is compassion: loving attention for yourself. And enough awareness in the here and now to start listening to your body’s signals and to get the frozen energy moving again.

    Mentally, you can learn to gently focus your attention on the signals of your body. Emotionally, a kind attitude toward yourself and your situation is helpful. And physically, the key to healing is: rhythm. Through rhythmic movement, you allow the stored energy to flow again. There are simple, surprisingly effective exercises for this, which you can read about in the books I recommend below—especially the second one.

    The one rhythm that stays with you from birth to death, and is both automatic and consciously controllable, is the breath. Through your breath, you can influence your state of consciousness. It forms the bridge between your body and mind. For thousands of years, yoga and shamanism have included special breathing techniques for various purposes, like generating warmth, improving concentration, or entering a trance. (This healing power of the breath—even for physical ailments—has by now repeatedly and convincingly been proven and is recognized by the medical science, especially the field of mind-body medicine.)

    Conscious breathing can stir up strong emotions. That’s why it’s important to go slowly and, if necessary, be guided by someone experienced in these kinds of processes. Such a person might be certified in Somatic Experiencing, or someone else with strong references whom you trust. There’s a risk of retraumatization if you go too fast or are not properly supported.

    The creator of the Somatic Experiencing method—a fantastic writer and wise, compassionate man, the leading authority in this field—is Peter Levine. Below are two books that can be incredibly helpful if you’ve experienced trauma yourself, or if you live or work with people who deal with the effects of trauma:

    Waking the Tiger
    In an Unspoken Voice

    These books aren’t just for people with obvious trauma. I believe nearly every human being will recognize the mechanisms of resistance and detachment as an innate part of being human. It’s an inseparable aspect of our experience on Earth, in a body. The Buddha also had a few wise things to say about it ;).

    The world would be a different place if we all knew about this. I believe that day is coming. The question is, how much worse will we let things get before we’re ready for transformation?

    You can already start today—for yourself.

  • Start with a sigh (breathe in…… let go)

    Start with a sigh (breathe in…… let go)

    Did you know that only breathing IN requires effort?
    Breathing out is simply a release.

    How it works:

    Breathing in, the diaphragm contracts, pulling down into the belly, creating a vacuüm in the lungs which are thereby filled with air…

    Breathing out: full release. Diaphragm relaxes and automatically moves back up, air flowing out effortlessly.

    This is your natural breath. Try it:

    1. Breathe in……. let go
    2. Breathe in……. let go
    3. Breathe in……. let go

    How did that go?

    You may well find that your ‘letting go’ is not so effortless at all. If so, you are probably (medical issues aside) unneccessarily restricting your outbreath somewhere in your body. Why? Because of stored stress and tension: the physical manifestation of unhelpful thoughts and feelings.

    Places we often notice people holding their breath include the belly, solar plexus, chest, shoulders, throat and lips. When we start to explore, we may find that some of these areas correspond to certain personal issues. One example:

    Nicole was struggling during her breath session. She was holding back the flow of breath in her throat and couldn’t find a rhythm. Her breathing became unbalanced and she started to cramp up. Noticing the tension in her throat, I then affirmed to her: it’s ok to express myself (in affirmations, we speak from the first person). Instantly, she started to cry. And then she released. Big sighs of relief she was breathing and what followed was an effortless, strong, rhythmic conscious connected breath in a soft, wide open throat. Beautiful.

    She later shared that it was the experience of finally allowing herself to let go that had the most impact for her. You see, it all starts with a sigh.

    Becoming aware of your outbreath you may find yourself sighing all day, like me when I started breathwork. That’s ok, in fact it’s perfect. That’s your body releasing unnecessary tension. You will feel happier and healthier because of it!

    Start with a sigh.

  • The 4-8 relaxation breath

    The 4-8 relaxation breath

    I’m sure you have heard of the fight or flight response. That’s when your adrenaline spikes, sending superhuman power to your arms and feet and razor sharp focus to your mind set to one thing: survive. Your breathing speed and heart rate go up. Blood flow is redirected from some of your organs to your extremities. You are alert and your body is tense, ready for action any moment.

    The relaxation response
    Now compare that to the other, less well known but equally valid state: the relaxation response. In this state, the body rests and digests. Muscle tension is low, blood flows to the digestive organs, energy levels are replenished and cells are being restored. Our heart beats slowly and the breath is slow, gentle, sometimes hardly noticeable.

    Using the breath, we can induce and/or sustain both these states. The 4-8 relaxation breath induces (you guessed it) the relaxation response.

    There are multiple methods for relaxation breathing. I like this one because it doesn’t require a holding of the breath. We can do this type of breathing in one continuous flow, which has its own amplifying benefits by shifting our consciousness to a more expanded awareness.

    Pain free birth
    The 4-8 relaxation breath is the breath that carried me painlessly all through the 13 hour birth of my daughter. Needless to say I am in love with it. The power I felt was grand. The surges were deep and consuming and had me moaning, yes, but I didn’t create any resistance in the process. My body was overflowing with love hormones and I was in full surrender to the contractions. I believe it was the 4-8 breath that carried me (and us) all the way through, along with the strong, loving presence of my beloved and the competence of the midwife.

    The 4-8 relaxation breath technique
    It’s very simple: breathe in for a count of 4 and out for a count of 8.

    On the in-breath, relax the jaw and shoulders. Use your diaphraghm for a nice and full chest-and-belly breath. Soften your belly, solar plexus and heart area.

    On the out-breath, make sure that some air remains in your lungs. Don’t press. Explore how to use your belly, chest, throat and lips in a healthy way to guide the duration of the breath flow.

    I like to breathe this breath to the count of my heartbeats. One thing I notice within two or three breaths is that my heartbeat slows down, an immediate effect of this breathing pattern. When you notice this, you also know that your blood pressure is dropping and your body is entering the restorative relaxation response. This also means that the breathing will take longer and longer every time.

    Stay connected with what feels right for you and don’t hold on to the counts when your body tells you otherwise. For example, when I was pregnant, breathing out for a count of 6 was often better than 8. It’s your body, your breath. The wisdom of you being alive in your body in this moment is infinitely greater than any range of numbers will ever be.

    Book tip
    From Harvard University’s Institute for Mind Body Medicine, there is a wonderful book about inducing the relaxation response and handy guide on how to apply it for healing various ailments: Relaxation Revolution.

  • Conscious connected breathing: technique and effects

    Conscious connected breathing: technique and effects

    If you are familiar with breathwork, you have probably heard of the conscious connected breath. You may know it by a different name, but the basic technique is this:

    1. Relax your jaw, open wide and breathe through the mouth
    2. Breathe into the belly and chest
    3. Simply relax on the exhale
    4. Consciously connect your breathing, so no pauses between inhale and exhale

    (A gentler version can be practiced by breathing in and out through the nose.)

    Practicing 10 minutes of conscious connected breathing at a time can already induce remarkable results. You may experience deep peace, heightened present moment awareness, more aliveness in (parts of) your body, as well as strong emotions and outbursts of laughter or crying. 10 minutes of conscious connected breathing is also a great way to start a meditation or creative session (keep paper and pen at hand!).

    Breathing the conscious connected breath for a longer time will bring you even deeper, but be wise and start your journey into the breath with a breath session under guidance of a breath coach. Seriously, this is strong stuff.

    Physical effects of conscious connected breathing
    On a physical level, breathing the conscious connected breath will bring more oxygen to your cells, stimulate the vagus nerve connecting many body parts, spur on the reptilian brain and impact the autonomic nervous system.

    You may notice all sorts of sensations, ranging from cold, heat, tingling and itching to ticks, trembling, pain or surges of energy and waves of ecstasy. These are all natural bodily impulses which we tend to suppress. Create a safe space and let these movements come. You will feel more alive than ever before.

    Emotional effects of conscious connected breathing
    On an emotional level, all sorts of feelings may arise. Bliss, laughter and joy or fear, anger, and grief. Allow them to arise, and deepen your breath to go into the experience or return to a normal breath to simply witness the unfolding of emotions stored in your body.

    Don’t go into stories now; the body doesn’t speak this kind of language and it knows nothing of your life drama. It’s enough to just let your emotions bubble up, play out and leave as they like.

    Spiritual effects of conscious connected breathing
    You may feel a sense of oneness or wholeness. The sense of separation between your body and the ‘outside world’ may disappear partly or completely. You may experience a strong intuition and inner knowing. Thoughts may cease to exist or loose their importance. You may experience unconditional love and recognize the nature of all of existence, including yourself, as deep peace.

    And this is all available to anyone, simply through breathing! Pretty cool, right?

    On the other hand, experiences like the above may lead to confusion and disbalance when we don’t have the mental framework or life circumstances conducive to healthy integration. This is why again it is advisable to take it slowly and take your time to explore this terrain wisely, with healthy intent, integrating as you go and seeking guidance where needed.

    Any questions, put them in the comments and I will be available to respond.

  • The Presence Process (Guided Online Journey)

    The Presence Process (Guided Online Journey)

    I wanted to share something with you which has changed my life and could change yours.

    Have you ever heard of The Presence Process? It’s a book. And more than that, (you guessed it) it’s a process. It is a 10 week process that will make you feel happier, healthier and whole, creating unimagined shifts in your life.

    Its daily requirements: 2 x 15 minutes of breathwork, reading a few pages and emotional housekeeping. You’re going to meet every challenge you face during the day in a new way.

    It was invented by the author, Michael Brown who suffered from intense pains until he found his path to freedom and created this method. It offers a structure that will help you systematically identify the emotional patterns that underly all of your experiences.

    According to Michael, our earliest experiences create an imprint that keeps on repeating throughout our lives. This imprint shapes how we perceive everything that happens to us and everyone who comes across our path.

    Do you get it? This is very simple and very profound:

    Life may look like a multitude of happenings, people and circumstances, but these are actually many messengers presenting the same few messages – over and over and over again.

    The key to living in the moment and being happy is this: focus on the message (not the messenger) and feel it without resisting it. And as we start living in unconditional emotional responsability, present moment awareness shines as never before.

    It’s as simple as that. And it’s a total game changer.

    It’s very simple, but because of our wiring and conditioning, it can be hard to do. We’re so used to making stuff difficult, right?

    In my own life, The Presence Process has lifted a lifelong weight off my shoulders, freed up energy and literally brought in thousands of euros. That is the kind of change this process can bring. I wholeheartedly recommend doing it- not to change your circumstances (although they may), but to radically shift your outlook on life, moving from chasing after things to deep gratitude and abundance.

    Presence Process group

    With Presence as our facilitator and staying true to the book, I offer Presence Process groups 2-3 times per year, called The Presence Process Guided Online Journey. This guided online journey adds to The Presence Process: personal online breath guidance, group support, two live breath workshops, weekly summaries and reminders, tips for further exploration and more. Check it out here: The Presence Process Guided Online Journey or find me on Instagram.

  • Breastfeeding in mindfulness

    Breastfeeding is a beautiful moment between me and my baby. A precious moment to rest, connect, and exchange. During breastfeeding, there is a direct energy connection between the baby and mother. Skins touch, hormones soar, reflexes act, milk flows. It is a deeply intuitive process that taps into the most ancient parts of both our brains.

    It matters how we spend our time
    As nursing mothers (and actually this goes for all baby feeding parents) we spend up to several hours each day sitting with our little one. In stead of browsing social media, checking messages or watching Netflix, why not spend this time with them consciously connecting, breathing or meditating? It’s a great opportunity! You are here sitting still anyway ;).

    Your baby, whilst drinking from your breast, is very much in tune with your body (and you with hers). She unconsciously and immediately picks up on every signal: your heart rate, sweat response, muscle tension, and breathing rhythm – to name a few.

    Just imagine the difference for your child when she looks up to look at you face and sees you either distressed by the news/consumed by a screen as opposed to lovingly/playfully looking at her or your eyes closed gently in silent meditation. She probably won’t remember consciously but the vibration of these early experiences will be stored in subtle layers of the body-mind.

    A gift to mother and child
    Nursing my baby has become a daily recurring practice of playfulness and mindfulness in the months since her birth. The time spent with her at my chest is so incredibly precious.

    The sensation of her tiny chubby fingers stroking, squeezing and tapping my chest (causing oxytocin to soar and milk to flow) – oh! delicious miracle of nature.

    Her giggles as she playfully turns my face away and back again with her hand.

    Her deep blue eyes looking up at me, sometimes smiling, sometimes focused, sometimes drunk with milk.

    Watching her fall asleep, breath becoming deeper and deeper, as she drinks or suckles.

    Sacred and natural
    The more attention I bring to the process, the deeper and more subtle are the layers I start to notice and I realise the intricacies of our humble role in the circle of life. Nothing is more normal and yet nothing is more sacred than this moment between me and my little one. Consciously breastfeeding like this is a gift to us both.

    Read this wonderful poem for a much more poetic account of nursing.

    And of course, in a different yet also very much the same way, much of the above applies to parents and caretakers bottle feeding babies as well.

    Mindful breastfeeding/nursing exercise

    Try this:

    While nursing your baby, become silent. Breathe deeply and relax. Soften your belly and feel it rise and fall as you breathe in and out. Sense the breath of your baby and the movement of his or her belly and chest as s/he breathes.

    Gently notice what comes to your attention: sounds, feelings, thoughts. Simply gently notice and let it stay or pass, like a white cloud in the clear blue sky. If your attention has drifted away for a moment, gently bring it back to the awareness of the breath and the sensation of your baby’s body and yours touching.

    Your baby may soon relax into your caring presence. By your breath alone, she knows she is safe. Also, if she is very young, her natural breath will still be arythmic and through sensing your rhythmic breath, she learns to regulate hers.

    If you are not used to this kind of practice, know that you are not just sitting still. You are ‘holding space’ for your child, that means: providing a safe container for her to move through all the phases and experiences of being a baby. The quality of your presence is worth so much for her.

    If you choose, you can now proceed to practice the 4-8 relaxation breath to invoke the relaxation response which is very beneficial for both you and your baby, or possibly even the conscious connected breath if you are free of emotional charge. More about that later :).

     

  • 3 breath visualisations: ease your mind, open your heart, step into action

    3 breath visualisations: ease your mind, open your heart, step into action

    Three breathful visualisations for you today:

    1. Ease your mind
    2. Open your heart
    3. Step into action

    You can choose to do them separately as you see fit or combine and include them in your morning routine as a great way to start your day.

    You can do them one breath at a time, or take your time with them and stroll out into nature to do a full hour of practice.

    Intro for all three practices

    Find a chair, cushion or place on the ground where you can sit (or stand) comfortably.
    Breathe only throught the nose or only through the mouth, do not alternate.
    Lengthen your spine, gently roll your head on your neck a few times, then come back to the center.
    Close your eyes, relax the forehead.
    Yaaawn and relax your jaw.
    Relax and soften the belly.

    Now, bring your attention to the natural rhythm of your breath.

    1. Ease your mind

    The mind is like the sky, white clouds of thought against a background of peaceful blue.
    On the inbreath, you may see  the clouds dissolving. On the outbreath, only deep blue peace remains.

    Breathing in and out, say with your inner voice:

    “Breathing in, thoughts dissolve”
    “Breathing out, mind is peace”

    (Repeat as often as you like)

    2. Open your heart

    The heart is like the Sun, shining with love. On the inbreath, breathe in light fueling the sun. On the outbreath, love’s light is shining brightly.

    Breathing in and out, say with your inner voice:

    “Breathing in, I open my heart”
    “Breathing out, I am love”

    (Repeat as often as you like)

    2. Step into action

    The body is balanced and strong, like a ninja’s. On the inbreath, get ready. On the outbreath, step forward and box or make any ninja move you like while making this sound from the belly: Ha!.

    SAY – Breathing in and out, say with your inner voice:

    “Breathing in, I am ready for action”
    “Breathing out, Ha!”

    (Repeat as often as you like and play with sounds and moves)