Category: Inspiration

  • Stop believing your mind (read The Untethered Soul)

    Stop believing your mind (read The Untethered Soul)

    “There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind – you are the one who hears it.”
    ― Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

    Here’s a fun exercise: write down your thoughts for a day, or even a couple of hours. Then read out loud what you’ve written down.

    It will be a dreamlike, rather incomprehensive monologue or inner conversation, a collection of words and sentences pretty random, often contradictive and colored by emotion.

    If this were a real life professional you were consulting for guidance in your life, would you be happy with their service? If this was your friend talking, would you think they are sane?

    In his book The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer helps readers let go of the sense that they are their minds, or even that they should believe their thoughts all the time. Instead, he helps them find their sense of I somewhere deeper, in a place untainted by the turbulence of life.

    Reading this book has helped me and many friends live from love, not fear, even when things get busy, messy or tough. I always recommend it to people who suffer from an overactive mind or who notice they live in their heads much of the time.

    “Do not let anything that happens in life be important enough that you’re willing to close your heart over it.”
    ― Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

  • Conscious activism

    Conscious activism

    An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
    – Gandhi

    Conscious activism is enlightened activism. It is acting from love. As long as I sense hatred in my heart towards the people or system I am fighting, I need to heal myself first.

    What always helps me is The Work by Bryon Katie:

    First, list your thoughts about the issue (who do you resent and why, how do you suggest they should change).

    Then, for each thought, answer the following four questions:

    1. Is it true? Yes or no.
    2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Yes or no.
    3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    4. Who would you be without this that thought?

    Now, find three turnarounds for each of the thoughts. For example, state the opposite or state “I” in stead of “them”.

    What we see in the world is actually what is (unconsciously) alive in us. This is called projection. In order to really bring wholesome change, we need to first embody it. This is what is meant when we say ‘be the change you wish to see in the world’.

    I may find that some of my convictions could use some nuance, stem from a deeper pain within myself which needs to be addressed first, or that I need to be applying some of my own advice in my own life before judging others.

    And so after having done our own inner work, we are free to act strongly, from love.

    A good person will resist an evil system with his whole soul. Disobedience of the laws of an evil state is therefore a duty.
    – Gandhi

    Conscious activism acts from love. If you are serious about bringing real change, start with The Work. Then act. Or, in the words of Marianne Williamson: “Love hard, pray hard, kick ass.”

  • Bee the change: 1 thing you can do today to save the bees

    Bee the change: 1 thing you can do today to save the bees

    My friend Fleur Feij (on Instagram here with beautiful photos) is a beekeeper who helps raise awareness for the devastating mass bee killing that is happening around the globe and the ways to save them.

    I love her down to earth and heartful approach – in anything, not just bees. She has a huge heart and the power, love and determination to make real changes. If you can find a way to support her work, please do :).

    Actually after writing that, I decided to ask her what’s the one thing we could all do right after reading this post and here’s what she said:

    “Tell children how important bees are. Because kids have the future and we need them, most of all, to be aware of this matter.”

    Just to remind you, a simplified explanation: bees are important because they pollinate our crops. They fly from flower to flower, drinking nectar and in the process fertilizing the plants. Only a fertilized plant grows fruits, nuts and seeds, and those plant parts are often what we eat. If you talk to kids, you can point at the foods they love, like strawberries, and tell them it is thanks to the wonderful bees that they are here!

    One extra fun way would be bring the kid out for a walk and ‘guerilla garden’ bee flower seeds in your village or town.

    And while you’re at it, go to SumOfUs or Avaaz and sign and share their campaigns. Grow flowers, too. Be like a bee, spread some goodness ;).

    Let us know in the comments how your conversation went and any other suggestions you may have to help save the bees!

    PS: Bees make propolis, which is wildly healthy stuff! Check out my recipe for propolis chocolate hearts here: Chocolate hearts with propolis, cardamom and rose.

     

    Image credit: Fleur Feij.

  • Love hard. Pray hard. Kick ass.

    Love hard. Pray hard. Kick ass.

    “So if you are spiritual and your house is burning down, you yell “Fire!”. You don’t just say your mantra five times and trust the outcome to God. God needs to be able to trust the outcome to us.”

    – Marianne Williamson

    This is a post about activism. The healthy kind that will heal the world.

    Activism must come from a place of wholeness, or it wil only cause more suffering. If all you can do is point fingers or fight or otherwise divide, it’s better to keep silent for now and do your inner work first.

    But once the blaming has stopped and judgment has been seen for what it is, healthy action can come and the work of love can start moving you.

    Marianne Williamson

    I was greatly inspired by Marianne Williamson in her Buddha at the Gas Pump interview (video below). She rightfully points out that we have to do whatever we can to actively defend and promote the forces of good in the world, especially now:

    “This is an urgent moment in the history of the world. We now have holding the levers of power in the most powerful country of the world, [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][Donald Trump] whose mindset does not seem to promote a sustainable option, necessarily, even for life on Earth”.

    I share her view of the dangers that a policy of divisiveness poses for the world, as well as the chances it brings for transformation and unity and so I do whatever is in my power to stand up for what I believe is right.

    Holistic politics

    I advocate holistic politics. Politics that operate from an integrative world view and recognize we are all part of a larger whole. Where we take care of the Earth and no longer see ourselves as the center of everything, but recognize we come from (are!) nature and start treating her with the respect she deserves. Where happiness is more important than growth and love prevails over possession. Where we listen to each other with the intention to understand, in stead of make our own point.

    As Marianne Williamson wisely mentions in the interview, great activists don’t work AGAINST anything. They work in favor of what they want. Gandhi always said how he was not against the British government, but rather FOR a free, self governing India.

    We can work together in healing the climate, sharing our wealth and resolving our (inner) conflicts. And the work, of course, starts with ourselves.

    Love hard

    Love and forgive yourself. Love and forgive others. Take good care of yourself and others.

    Recognize that if we flourish at someone else’s cost, we can not fully flourish. Because we are all connected and as soon as we become aware of that, we can no longer hide for the fact that in this world, too many beings are suffering for the so-called welfare of a few.

    Also… if you love someone, let them know. And treat people how you would like to be treated. It really is that simple.

    Pray hard

    Meditate, walk in nature, play music, pray, whatever it is you can do to get out of your ordinary daily mind and connect with something greater than what you call ‘you’.

    Sometimes, action is prayer. ‘Karma yoga’ means you support the right people and causes to help create, sustain and spread the good stuff. Cleaning a beach can be incredibly liberating.

    Prayer, meditation and heartful action help us to let go of our mind-made self image and live from the deeper source within.

    Kick ass

    Acting from that place again, we are re-sourceful: we are creative, efficient and we effortlessly move mountains. That state is called flow and it happens when we stop creating barriers for ourselves.

    We are the grownups now. It is up to us to act. Somewhere in the interview, Marianne Williamson says: “You know how they say it’s a pity when people miss their childhood? Well it’s a pity when people miss their adulthood, too!”

    We are what we repeatedly do.
    – Aristotle

    My invitation: right now, kick some ass. Find one thing you can do to contribute to something you care about deeply. Even a comment on this article would be great! Do it right now, don’t stop with just reading this post. It can be small, but you will inspire yourself and others because you are one who acts.

    Some suggestions: sign up for Avaaz or SumOfUs to get involved (even if just by signing) with great people power causes. Change your bank to one with a high rating for social and environmental investments. Donate time or money to a great campaign, and share about it on social media. Write a weekly Facebook post on something you care about. Eat more plants and less meat. I could go on and on. More suggestions? Put them in the comments!

    Do this every day in the coming week and you’ll see that by the end of the week, you’re a different person.

    Here is Marianne Williamson’s interview with Buddha at the Gas Pump:

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  • Our deepest fear

    Our deepest fear

    Here’s a poem I love by Marianne Williamson.

    ✾

    Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
    Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
    It is our light and not our darkness that most frightens us.

    We ask ourselves:
    Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
    Actually, who are you not to be?
    You are a child of God.
    There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking,
    so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

    We are meant to shine as children do.
    We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
    It is not just in one of us.
    It is in everyone.

    As we let our own light shine,
    we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
    As we are liberated from our fear,
    our presence automatically liberates others.

    ✾

  • Addiction, self love and trust

    Addiction, self love and trust

    [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_text]I wrote this post speaking from my own personal experiences with addiction and from those of others who have been open enough to share their stories with me.[/fusion_text]

    [fusion_text]If you are reading this, and you regard yourself as addicted to some substance or behavior or you worry about your attachment to some thing, some one or some state, let me first tell you this:

    You have no idea how powerful you are.

    Power to you

    I’m not talking willpower-powerful here. That’s a shallow kind of powerful. I am talking the kind of powerful that people find in themselves when they are deeply inspired with love or close to dying and ready to give up everything.

    Truth is, most people have no idea how powerful they truly are. And many will never find out until their dying day, only because nothing important enough shows up in their life. Imagine what a humongous shame that is! Therefore, here’s something else:

    Your addiction may be one of the greatest gifts you will ever receive.

    For if and when you transcend your addiction, you will find the biggest freedom imaginable.

    Endless flow

    Stop and feel for a moment. At this point, is your heart beating faster with recognition? Is at least a tiny something inside brimming with energy, because you thought this was going to be about all the things you are doing wrong and in stead you get this beautiful present? Yes? Awesome. You are aware of the endless flow that moves each of us. If you get a glimpse of the magic of this and value it highly enough, you will be hungry for more. This is from where you will cure your addiction. It’s not the only way, but it is by far the easiest. I know, because i have been there myself.

    What’s in the way

    Quite possibly however, your head is still telling you that you are not worthy or too weak to be considered powerful. That you have created too big a mess, that you may be too fucked up inside, that you have disappointed your loved ones once too many, pushed your limits too far and let yourself down in too many ways to believe that you are truly carrying a gift. It’s ok. This is the part where you get to see in relentless close-up the very thing that is in the way between you and freedom. See it for what it is, and it will transform.

    But first, a short explanation about addiction:[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

    “Wise beings do not want to remain a slave to the fear of pain. They permit the world to be what it is instead of being afraid of it.”

    Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

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    What is addiction?

    Here’s how i understand addiction: it is a pattern which grows from the deep longing to be relieved of pain. This pain may be a simple physical or emotional discomfort, but more often than not is caused by deeply rooted inner beliefs about what’s wrong with us and how we can not handle reality.[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_text]Later on, when our system has gotten used to the substance or experience (coffee, relationship, cigarettes, heroin, alcohol, shopping, chocolate, gambling, starving, name yours), withdrawal symptoms may come up and be an added cause of pain or discomfort all by themselves.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]The pattern becomes one of compulsive behavior: we do it more often and more strongly than is healthy or desirable and we can not moderate it anymore.

    By then, we either abandon ourselves and give up trying to change our behavior, or we start making promises to ourselves and our loved ones, then breaking those promises over and over because we still fear the feelings of pain and discomfort that inevitably come up: our deepest feelings of inadequacy.

    Protecting the fortress

    The addiction becomes our fortress, seemingly protecting us and at the same time cutting us of from the greater flow of life. Even so, we will protect it using all the means we can find. Here are a few examples of ways in which we protect the fortress. They may appear in your life very subtly or painfully unescapable:

    • finding excuses,
    • hiding our traces,
    • seeking companions (“friends” whom we are actually abusing so that we can be ok with sabotaging ourselves just a little bit longer),
    • feeling guilty (but not acting on it),
    • saying sorry (but knowing deep inside that the addiction still has our balls),
    • blaming others or circumstances for our tendencies,
    • faking just enough openness to be left alone (but hiding the part where we actually think we’re crossing the line),
    • feeling ashamed (and going for another round of whatever calms our voices of self hatred),
    • making promises (and then, with everybody calmed down, leaving it there).

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    Healing addiction: the way out is in

    Curing your addiction may seem very hard but if you trust the process enough, it will turn out to be the most ecstatic gift you can give yourself (read on to see how self love and trust will support your process). The gift is freedom. And the way out of suffering, is in.[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]So here’s what you need to do: quit your addictive behavior (whether it be smoking, drinking, fasting, cleaning or controlling everything) for some time. If you think you can’t, just imagine yourself quitting and see what happens: fear will arise. Resistance. Despair. Monkey-mind. Now look: what is making you feel so uneasy? Ask yourself: what’s so bad about this? Why does this hurt so much?[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

    “We are constantly trying to hold it all together. If you really want to see why you do things, then don’t do them and see what happens.”

    Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

    [/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_text]Many people end up finding a deep and hurtful inner conviction that they have picked up in your lifetime, probably at an early age already, such as this: I am worthless. I am a loser. I am not good enough. I am a burden. I am dumb. I am hopeless. I am weak.

    It’s these beliefs that keep you from being a supporting friend to yourself, someone you love, someone you can trust.[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

    “At any moment you can feel frustration, anger, fear, jealousy, insecurity or embarrassment. If you watch you will see the heart is trying to push it all away. If you want to be free you have to learn to stop fighting all these human feelings.”

    Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

    [/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]Until you stop running from these beliefs (thought patterns), until you stop fighting your human feelings, their voices will sound louder and louder. Shutting them up will require more and more effort. Your doses of whatever will need to be higher and higher.

    Your drinking, smoking or sex addiction will have you feeling worse about yourself than ever before, and people around you will start to express worries about you or reject your presence.[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_text]Thus, you are confirming your own beliefs: i am weak, i am a loser, i am a burden. And, possibly: people don’t understand me. The world is against me.

    You will not see this spiral and its effects in full clarity until you step out of it. And stepping out of it seems hard, because you are so involved! Naturally, you believe what you are seeing: you are weak. Where on Earth would you find the strength to quit the thing that is easing the pain for you?

    This is where self love and trust come in. Be prepared to give up control of your fortress and start talking to (who you think is) the enemy.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]

    Stay present

    In stead of moving away, go exactly where it hurts the most. Watch and listen carefully.

    You will start meeting a part of your psyche that longs to be seen, actually, recognized, finally, for its needs. Listen and deep inside you will find a voice that desperately wants to be heard. Be with it, lovingly, and let its energy be expressed. Let it rage, tremble, kick, cry out. Share, if possible, with someone who is willing to listen without judgment. It’s not you, it’s a voice. It just wants to be heard.

    If you manage to do this, you have found the place in you from where you can heal. This is the place in you that you can trust. And so can others, as they will start to see in due time. This is from where you allow space for anything to come up, for old stories to emerge, for old wounds to heal. Anything can exist in this space, even the harshest judgments you hold about yourself.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]

    Self love

    Do you love yourself?

    It’s an awesome feeling if you can look in the mirror and truly find your closest friend looking back at you, smiling a knowing and supportive smile. Does your mirror show a true friend?

    Sadly, your answer may very well be “no” or “i don’t know”. Do you feel how sad this is? Then feel the sadness, explore it for a bit. And notice: whoever is feeling sad, must care at least a little bit about your wellbeing, right?

    When healing your addiction, feeling love for yourself will be essential. If you don’t feel it, this is the first thing you need to work on. Be prepared to see the darkest parts of you and still in your heart put a loving arm around yourself. Ask people to support you when you can not do it on your own.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]

    Trust

    Do you trust yourself?

    If you are addicted (or worried about your use or attachments) you can’t really trust your own behavior, can you? After all, you will make promises and break them. You may lie and steal to fulfill your needs. You may set your goals and then change your mind, over and over. You will place the blame outside of yourself. You may manipulate people into doing or believing what you want them to.

    You simply can not trust this part of you that believes it is (being) limited and in need of stuff, a shot, a partner. Behavioral patterns (including thoughts and emotions) are strong. They are strengthened with repetition and you have given them lots and lots of food over the course of your addicted lifetime. These thoughts and behaviors wake up easily. In my personal experience, the voices of addiction can not be trusted. Especially when making promises or finding excuses.

    But here’s the good news: even if you can not trust your personal thoughts, wishes and behavior in any given moment, there is a force that is far greater than you which is worth every ounce of trust. When this force starts living through you, it ignites infinite power in you. It will reveal itself when you start trusting it.

    So: YES, I trust you. I trust your infinite potential, your drive towards freedom, your connection into the source of all being, which is pure life force power. I trust your strength, which is boundless, and i trust your ability to break your own chains.

    And so should you.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]

    Love yourself. Trust that your thoughts are random and that life force energy, the very power that keeps you breathing and alive, will inspire you and win over any disabling beliefs… if you let it.

    Ask for help from people who will support you in holding your commitment to yourself and who will not judge when you slip. If possible, find a buddy you can call at any time. Agree on the kind of support you give each other.

    Ditch your addicted friends (at least temporarily) if they are not ready to join you in giving up this behavior. They may be great people (they are!), but their behavior is toxic to you.

    Surround yourself with healthy, happy people.

    Have a plan. Know what you will do when a craving and compulsive thoughts kick in. This is where you take charge over the ‘old’, conditioned you who is still addicted. Call your buddy, go for a run (don’t bring money), drink a glass of water, make a painting, do household stuff, meditate, Skype mom.

    Go for a walk at least once a day. If you can, get a dog. It will give you exercise and an uncomplicated loving relationship.

    Be patient with the people closest to you. Don’t be discouraged when they are not ready to trust again. This is your process and it will take as long as it needs. Same goes for them.

    Big one: Open up about your process. It will give you clarity and you will be amazed to hear how many people are also struggling with addiction. It’s an amazing experience to go from feeling like a failure to seeing how your experience can help and inspire others.

    These are just a few tips. If you have more, please share!

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    I wrote this post speaking from my own personal experiences with addiction and from those of others who have been open enough to share their stories with me.

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  • On Tiny Habits (or: why pee wins where willpower fails)

    Do you have the tiniest inclination to make a change in the way you spend your days? Then watch this video on creating Tiny Habits. It may change your life.

    For all the times you tried to incorporate something into your lifestyle and gave up after a few tries or even only one… this is the thing that truly makes a difference.

    Here’s how it works: in stead of using willpower, which costs you a lot of energy and is far less effective, you can set tiny goals and make yourself successful at them time and time again.

    You’ll start liking your new behavior, feel great about yourself and, out of enthusiasm (as opposed to willpower) naturally extend your new tiny habit into a Big one.

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    Tiny examples

    • After i pee, i do 5 situps.
    • After i brush my teeth, i floss 1 tooth.
    • After i stand up from my chair, i pick up 1 thing to clean.
    • After i send an email, i take 1 minute to watch my breath.
    • After i get up in the morning, i light 1 candle.

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    What’s this thing about pee you mentioned?

    Using the Tiny Habits method, you will hook your new behavior into your day by anchoring it to something you do anyway. My favorite trigger has always been peeing: “after i pee, i will…”.

    I love having a strong belly. It makes me feel grounded and full of energy and inner strength. To strengthen my belly, i want to do daily situps. I choose an amount of situps that (to me) is ridiculously low, so i will have no excuse to skip. So i picked up this tiny habit:
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    Each time i pee, i will do 20 situps.

    I started only two days ago, i already did about 8 or 10 times 20 situps and i feel great about it!

    Btw, i know that to many, 20 situps is not ‘tiny’ but rather a lot. So whatever you consider tiny is personal. If i would do pushups, i would probably start with 3. The trick is to set your goal to an amount that is something you can not NOT do because there is just no excuse. It may sound silly but this is the way it works.

    How does it work?

    Tiny Habits is a great method to introduce new habits in your lifestyle in a fun and super-sustainable way.

    I have been using it often to get started with wholesome habits in my life such as drinking lemon juice every morning, sprouting my own beans, exercising daily and tidying my home.

    Here are the steps according to B.J. Fogg, the creator of Tiny Habits:

    Step 1: Get specific
    What behavior do you want?
    Translate target outcomes and goals into behaviors.
    And be specific.

    Step 2: Make it easy
    How can you make the behavior easy to do?
    Simplicity changes behavior.

    Step 3: Trigger the behavior
    What will prompt the behavior?
    Some triggers are natural. Others you must design.
    No behavior happens w/o a trigger.

    Just watch the video, then all of the above will make even more sense. Or ask your question in the comments, i will do my best to answer from my own experience and insight.

    If you want to know more and get automated email guidance by B.J. Fogg, the creator of Tiny Habits, check out this site: http://tinyhabits.com/ (new window).[/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

  • Limiting money beliefs

    Limiting money beliefs

    In my previous post, i wrote how working in countries like Thailand may inspire an even better work life balance for digital nomads. I spend lots of time behind the computer and love to counter that with lots of time playing around, swimming and dancing and practicing yoga. That’s one of the reasons for moving to a tropical island. Here’s another one, and it’s a biggie: finances.

    Financial balance
    A big motivator for being in Thailand, is money. I have some serious debts to deal with and living in and working from Thailand (waaaaay cheaper than Holland) is helping me clean my old mess and maintain a healthy balance, also financially.

    Money is energy
    In fact, I have only quite recently come to the realization that money in itself is just innocent energy and it is ME who has been putting all kinds of labels on it such as ‘bad’, ‘dirty’, ‘guilty’, ‘difficult’, you name them, and i’ve been getting myself into trouble because of these convictions about money. I have behaved with money as i perceived the very thing i was dealing with.

    Who would you be without your story?

    The Work of Byron Katie is a way of identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause all the anger, fear, depression, addiction, and violence in the world. Experience the happiness of undoing those thoughts through The Work, and allow your mind to return to its true, awakened, peaceful, creative nature.

    Everything you need in order to do The Work is available free on the website >.

    Real problem?
    To be honest, this is the one thing that i actually perceive as a real problem sometimes. The mechanism used to be, to turn away from it. Don’t want to see the bills, don’t want to face myself hiding them. Now, it is my practice to calm my mind which is until then full of fear and feel the love and lightness that are also present. And then i open the envelope and deal with whatever is inside.

    Opening envelopes connecting to love and lightness inside? This may sound weird to you if you have no problem dealing with money (or avoiding to do so). Or it may sound wishy-washy if you’re not into the whole spiritual thing. But truly, it is my experience that wherever i created trouble in my life, the cause was in a false conviction, held by me, about the thing i was dealing with. As soon as i willfully (and, more and more, automatically) stop believing my thoughts, i become more open, more relaxed, and more prone to taking the right action.

    The Work
    What is helping me loads is The Work by Byron Katie. I’ll probably post more on her later. For now, i’ll just say that her sequence of questions and especially the final turnaround helps me see how by holding these beliefs about money i was (and truthfully, often still am) actually limiting myself bigtime.

    Step back and See
    Finally lifting the veil of false convictions and unlearning them, makes available all the space and strength and resources we need to deal with anything. True freedom and the power to make miracles happen, reside in every vessel of us. Surrender to this truth and you will be alive like never before.

    Surrendering to a truth? What does that MEAN?! Why don’t i just say: ‘understand this, and…’, or ‘agree with this, and…’? I’ll explain soon, the article is in the making. One hint: it has to do with letting go of mind-made beliefs.

    What comes from this? For me: the courage to face up to my own shit, determination to keep on calling and writing letters where needed, the good sense to call my bookkeeper and ask friends for support in getting everything sorted, the inspired productivity to develop and sell awesome, meaningful products and services and pay what needs to be paid.

    That’s in my case, until now. Your case and the solutions you come up with, may be different. Also, let me tell you: creating new patterns requires effort and loving dedication. I still need help and friendly reminders to stay on track.

    One more perk
    What also comes from lifting the veil and opening up to all possibilities? That i get to write this confession to you from Thailand, where i spend my days in joyous love with my dearest: Marco.* He supports me and has supported me through many years of intense pleasure, times of hardship and neverending connectedness. Together we came here not just because this is paradise, but also because being in paradise helps us to deal with our shit. I feel eternally grateful to have Marco as a buddy and a lover to share ideas with, moments of inspiration as well as despair, and i just know we’ll make it. Bigtime.

    Have a lovely day, y’all <3

    Image & quote gracefully provided by Maya Miriam: http://mayamiriam.wordpress.com/

    * Update: things change and Judith and Marco are no longer together as a couple. We are still close friends.

  • Digital nomads & work life balance

    Digital nomads & work life balance

    Update: life goes on, things change and Judith and Marco are no longer together as a couple. We are still close friends but we both went our separate ways.

    We’re in Thailand, carrying backpacks and traveling low-budget. Apparently, the Thai use a special term for our kind: stinky foreigners. Ha!

    Truth is, we have showered every day or even twice since we came here (because it’s HOT!) and opted for an airconditioned room in Bangkok’s Thara hotel (recommended), near Khaosan Road, the city’s most attractive tourist area.

    Is your work location-independent or could you move your business to another country? Do you fancy (temporarily) living in a tropical area with more focus on health and adventure? Do you like meeting travelers? Read on!

    Why Thailand?
    There’s a few reasons we chose Thailand:

    • the country’s rich nature
    • the wise buddhist culture
    • the friendly people
    • the low prices
    • the great digital nomad climate: wifi everywhere

    So a few days ago, we made our way south to the beautiful island of Koh Pha Ngan to do all that.

    Also, by what we heard from friends, it just seems to be effortless here to integrate wholesome good stuffs such as yoga, dance and a diet of fruits and veggies into our daily lives of working behind a digital device.

    Digital nomads & work life balance
    I mean, i don’t know about you, but i often feel i need to ‘create space’ in my busy western life to do my meditation practice or play around. And then sometimes i just don’t… And that’s kinda crazy, because every time i DO create that space to dance freely or cook up something creative or follow a design tutorial of sorts, there’s an immediate awesome effect where not only do i come up with better ideas, but also problems which i thought were there before, melt like clouds before the sun and magic signs start popping up everywhere: you’re on the right track! Keep going!

    3 reasons to become a digital nomad in South East Asia:

    • A healthy way of living naturally inspires to make more healthy choices.
    • The low prices make things like foot massages or daily yoga classes so much more accessible.
    • Meeting like-minded people really creates a ‘new normal’ of living a life of joy and abundance, spiritually, physically and economically.

    Beach office
    In a few days, we hope to be living in our ‘own’ bungalow for the coming months. Until then, we’re in a beach resort. The wifi at the restaurant is fine and we made a nice office for ourselves facing the gently rolling waves of the Gulf of Thailand. We pay 600 baht (about 14 euros) per night for a small 1-room bungalow with private hot shower and a veranda with hammock. It’s really lovely.

    Day at the office: swim, work, drink coconut, repeat
    We spend a lot of time taking care of business from our beach office, and whenever we feel like it, we dive in the water for a cooling and refreshing swim. I drink juice from coconuts all day, using a spoon afterwards to scrape the fresh white flesh from the shell. It really fills you up and replenishes the body for quite a while.

    Television
    One downside i find here at the beach resort and in many other places we visited until now, is the television that is constantly producing sounds. My love remarked how serene this place would be if it weren’t for the television. Sports commentary, commercials, action hero movie gunfire. I trust that at least in the yoga schools, the tv will finally be turned off ;).

    Prices
    Here are a few first observations:

    • One coconut costs 30 baht (about 70 eurocents) if you buy it in the street. I swear i could live on coconuts alone, they’re sooo delicious and nutricious.
    • Dinners at any restaurant or resort can be something like a green or cream curry or a fresh and spicy vegetable soup with rice and costs around 100-150 baht for a meal, that’s 2,5 – 4 euros.
    • Streetfood, if prepared right in front of you, is delicious and can be safely eaten. Buy a pad thai, that’s your choice of noodles with veggies and some protein such as egg, tofu, chicken or shrimp) for no more than 40 baht (not even 1 euro).
    Speciality: edible bugs
    In Bangkok, i was checking out a food stand selling fried scorpios and beatles and many kinds of worms. A tourist lady offered me a taste from her freshly bought batch. So that was my moment. I ate a deep fried silk worm. It was crunchy, and its inside was rather dry, like liver. I don’t like eating meat and so when the remains of the little fellow got stuck in my teeth, i was rather grossed out. I’m sure same goes for you now. You’re welcome ;).

    Here’s my #1 tip on creating the life of your dreams
    Here’s a great and possibly life changing advice: be mindful of the people you hang out with. Connect with people already living your dream. Science shows us that your social circle greatly influences your choices in life. Do your friends watch television all day? Probably so will you. Do they work late hours? You may want to meet their dedication. Do they drink lots of alcohol? It’ll be easy for you to join them.

    Do your friends do awesome stuff like mountain climbing, scuba diving and learning how to dance the tango, earning a living following their dreams? It’ll come natural to you to do the same and the resources you need will be available everywhere for you.*

    Today we’re going to check out a few bars/venues where supposedly our peers hang out. We found a nice website & Facebook group (Conscious Phangan) with people sharing events for kindred souls who like dance, yoga, drumming, etc. Can’t wait to meet all those people in real life.

    Next post…
    Soon i’ll share more about life in paradise. First, in my next post, i’ll lift the veil on one of the last remaining ‘problems’ in my life. It’s about money. Stay tuned.

    Awesome photo by Marco Reeuwijk

    * Is it your dream to have a happy family and a safe, predictable rhythm in your days? Same goes there: surround yourself with people already living your dream.

  • Declutter & Be Free

    Declutter & Be Free

    This is a sign of true freedom: if you know that you are home wherever you find yourself to be, even when there is nothing that’s ‘yours’ anymore.

    A few years ago, i was couchsurfing in Bilbao. My host Gonzalo rented a furnished apartment, nothing inside was really his. All his belongings fit in his ‘professional’ traveller’s bicycle gear. Amazing. To my mind, he was free. He inspired me so much.

    And now it’s my moment to flap my wings and fly: two weeks ago the phone call came in that i need to move house soon. Granted, i’m only moving 50 metres and will stay within the same building – but still it’s a big shift.

    For here & now is the moment where i let go of all burdersome items (called clutter), to be left only with the bare essentials of my life. Which, to be honest, i think are only clothing, kitchen stuff and the candles, pillows etc that make my home… homy.

    With the move coming up and shortly after that a three month stay in Thailand (i know, it’s sad..), decluttering is my priority for the coming two weeks. It’s a practice in letting go. And more letting go, and even more letting go… until there’s nothing to hold on to anymore.

    http://zenhabits.net/zero/