“You get what you expect in life, not what you want.”
– Jean Liedloff
A beautiful video about nurturing your kids with proximity, touch and the crucial practice of letting them explore the world by themselves.
About trusting nature, our natural talents and our innate tendency to live up to social expectations – and how the latter can both benefit and damage us!
- How can we keep our little ones safe – and what really is safety?
- How can we teach them responsible behavior?
- How do we stop inadvertedly communicating to our kids that we do not believe they are capable of the task we are asking them to do?
- How do many of our common practices in hospital, daycare or home environment instill a sense of ‘something is wrong with me’… and what can we do about it?
- And what are the societal implications of this misguided behavior we as adults show towards kids?
- Moreover, how can we learn from indigenous cultures to restore our connection to our natural talents?
If you only want to see one strong example of how we inadvertedly teach our kids to be dependent and incapable, watch the example of Donovan and his mother starting at 34′. But truly the whole video is worth watching.
I found Jean a bit strong in her expressions in the beginning of the video but then I realised that she was speaking in a different time, from a different culture and that probably much of her work and tone are the reason I can now be a bit more relaxed about it.
We have instinctively been practicing the principles Jean mentions in this video. It feels only natural to nurture a deep and close connection with our kid (now 14 months old) while giving her space to explore the world and learn from ‘mistakes’.
This video (recommended by a dear friend) has been a huge inspiration and encouragement. We also took a few tips from it and I feel grateful to now understand one change I need to make: I will not raise my finger anymore to impose my authority. In the video, Jean will explain why.
Jean Liedloff’s has written The Continuum Concept.
The learnings I took from Jean also connect closely to Susan Stiffelman’s in Parenting with Presence, which I wrote about here.