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  • Live your questions (Rilke quote)

    Live your questions (Rilke quote)

    I love this poem, which is not really a poem but a piece taken from a letter from Rilke to a young friend. It opens the space for the creative power of life to answer what is alive in our hearts, instead of putting pressure on the mind which is often a bad advisor anyway:

    “(…) Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

    – Rainer Maria Rilke

    In the original language, German:

    (…)

    Man muss Geduld haben

    Mit dem Ungelösten im Herzen,
    und versuchen, die Fragen selber lieb zu haben,
    wie verschlossene Stuben,
    und wie Bücher, die in einer sehr fremden Sprache
    geschrieben sind.

    Es handelt sich darum, alles zu leben.
    Wenn man die Fragen lebt, lebt man vielleicht allmählich,
    ohne es zu merken,
    eines fremden Tages
    in die Antworten hinein.

  • My favorite animation of conception & baby growing in the womb

    My favorite animation of conception & baby growing in the womb

    When we had just found out I was pregnant, we found this video on Youtube. It is a beautiful animation not just of the fetus growing in the womb but also of the conception itself. Sperm swimming their way to the egg, competing to find their way in. Credits to the guys, without whom none of what follows were ever even possible.

  • 3 breath visualisations: ease your mind, open your heart, step into action

    3 breath visualisations: ease your mind, open your heart, step into action

    Three breathful visualisations for you today:

    1. Ease your mind
    2. Open your heart
    3. Step into action

    You can choose to do them separately as you see fit or combine and include them in your morning routine as a great way to start your day.

    You can do them one breath at a time, or take your time with them and stroll out into nature to do a full hour of practice.

    Intro for all three practices

    Find a chair, cushion or place on the ground where you can sit (or stand) comfortably.
    Breathe only throught the nose or only through the mouth, do not alternate.
    Lengthen your spine, gently roll your head on your neck a few times, then come back to the center.
    Close your eyes, relax the forehead.
    Yaaawn and relax your jaw.
    Relax and soften the belly.

    Now, bring your attention to the natural rhythm of your breath.

    1. Ease your mind

    The mind is like the sky, white clouds of thought against a background of peaceful blue.
    On the inbreath, you may see  the clouds dissolving. On the outbreath, only deep blue peace remains.

    Breathing in and out, say with your inner voice:

    “Breathing in, thoughts dissolve”
    “Breathing out, mind is peace”

    (Repeat as often as you like)

    2. Open your heart

    The heart is like the Sun, shining with love. On the inbreath, breathe in light fueling the sun. On the outbreath, love’s light is shining brightly.

    Breathing in and out, say with your inner voice:

    “Breathing in, I open my heart”
    “Breathing out, I am love”

    (Repeat as often as you like)

    2. Step into action

    The body is balanced and strong, like a ninja’s. On the inbreath, get ready. On the outbreath, step forward and box or make any ninja move you like while making this sound from the belly: Ha!.

    SAY – Breathing in and out, say with your inner voice:

    “Breathing in, I am ready for action”
    “Breathing out, Ha!”

    (Repeat as often as you like and play with sounds and moves)

  • Stop believing your mind (read The Untethered Soul)

    Stop believing your mind (read The Untethered Soul)

    “There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind – you are the one who hears it.”
    ― Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

    Here’s a fun exercise: write down your thoughts for a day, or even a couple of hours. Then read out loud what you’ve written down.

    It will be a dreamlike, rather incomprehensive monologue or inner conversation, a collection of words and sentences pretty random, often contradictive and colored by emotion.

    If this were a real life professional you were consulting for guidance in your life, would you be happy with their service? If this was your friend talking, would you think they are sane?

    In his book The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer helps readers let go of the sense that they are their minds, or even that they should believe their thoughts all the time. Instead, he helps them find their sense of I somewhere deeper, in a place untainted by the turbulence of life.

    Reading this book has helped me and many friends live from love, not fear, even when things get busy, messy or tough. I always recommend it to people who suffer from an overactive mind or who notice they live in their heads much of the time.

    “Do not let anything that happens in life be important enough that you’re willing to close your heart over it.”
    ― Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

  • Diapers: cloth or disposable?

    Diapers: cloth or disposable?

    In short: we use both.

    We’ve had cloth diapers from the start but ended up hardly using them at first because (even in size S) they looked very large on our little girl. Although she didn’t seem to mind, it just didn’t look healthy to us to have her tilt her whole body when lying down just because of the diaper.

    But ever since she started eating solid food (next to breastfeeding on demand) and using the potty, both at around five months, I love the cloth diapers. They are climate friendly, almost as easy to use and save a lot of money. Also, they help in potty training because they do worse at absorbtion, thus making it more obvious when the diaper needs changing.

    When away from home, we still use disposable diapers. It’s lighter, easier, less volume, easier for family who are not used to cloth diapers. But honestly, this is a matter of laziness comfort. Cloth would work as well. It’s a compromise.

    For Dutchies: I really liked this article: https://kiind.nl/waarom-wasbare-luiers/.

    Bonus tip: check out the diaper free movement for even more (= less) fun with diapers.

  • Use your B.R.A.I.N.

    Use your B.R.A.I.N.

    This video actually comes from the hypnobirthing online course that we took but it is a life hack for everybody, not just parents-to-be :).

    In short, the lesson is: whenever you are presented with a difficult decision, use your BRAIN. That means asking the following questions:

    Benefits – what are the benefits?
    Risks – what are the risks?
    Alternatives – what are the alternatives (if any)?
    Intuition – what does my intuition say?
    Nothing – what happens if we do nothing?

    Applying this routine brings insight, clarity and control, even in complex situations such as medical, judicial or technical emergencies where you might typically feel helpless in the hands of experts and their protocols.

  • The Positive Birth Company online hypnobirthing course rocks

    The Positive Birth Company online hypnobirthing course rocks

    I will share about our ‘positive birth’ in detail at a later time, but here is a golden tip for any pregnant couple wanting to prepare for a smooth birth: buy the Positive Birth Company digital pack. It has about 40 videos and contains everything you need to have, do and know for a safe and happy birth.

    Prepare carefully, then let go and commit to breathing during the birth. Let your birth partner take care of the rest (he or she will know exactly what to do and not do after watching the course). If anything comes up and decisions need to be made, use your B.R.A.I.N. (one of my big takeaways from the course and it’s not just handy for births, it’s a life lesson).

    It was the only course we took and it was all we needed. Lua’s birth was a beautifully deep, strong and joyful process. And when things took an adventurous turn, we knew exactly how to respond, doing what was needed in the moment while staying fully present and relaxed. I remember no pain, only power, beauty and full surrender.

    Take this course. It is high quality and at 39 GBP, unexpectedly cheap.

  • Breast feeding: clear and wonderful how-to video

    Breast feeding: clear and wonderful how-to video

    This is a wonderful video. It is very helpful for an important part of parenting: feeding your baby the very best nutrition available and nurturing the most beautiful, essential bond there is. (Yes I am a breast feeding enthusiast.)

    I found the video enlightening in many respects. It shows all the do’s and don’ts, but apart from that, it shows women and their babies of many different racial and social/cultural backgrounds with different body types in an experience that unites us all.

  • Dunstan Baby Language: it works

    Dunstan Baby Language: it works

    According to Priscilla Dunstan and a group of researchers who back her personal findings, babies all over the world make a select group of sounds for certain situations such as discomfort, needing to burp and being hungry. Our conclusion after seeing it work with us and some other parents/babies: this is real and it’s great!

    When you know about the five sounds, it becomes so much more clear what your baby needs in any moment. This brings relaxation, fulfillment, understanding, it saves time and energy and crying and it just brings such tremendous joy to be able to provide what is needed.

    All we did was watch the video below, print a little flyer with the sounds and their meaning and practice together, for fun, before Lua was born. We’d say Neeeeeh and the other would shout: food!, or Eh, eh, and the other would say: burp :). It was a fun time preparing for our first months as parents, which is when babies utter these sounds based on their natural (and universal) reflexes such as sucking when they are hungry.

    It really works and it made life so much easier. Understanding what your little loved one wants, makes all the difference in the world.

    Watching this video teaches you all you need to know:

    <iframe width=”50%” height=”auto” src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/PgkZf6jVdVg” frameborder=”0″ allow=”accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture” allowfullscreen></iframe>

  • Diaper free (Dutch: BZC)

    Diaper free (Dutch: BZC)

    Most baby’s around the world don’t wear diapers and while many people don’t know it yet, a baby of around 1-2 years with full control over their pelvic floor muscles is very normal in many cultures.

    Actually, it is natural for a baby to want to be clean and dry and all the musculature and control thereof is in place for them to hold it up for at least a bit of time.

    At 9-10 months old, our Lua has only had one poo diaper in the past two weeks and she uses only about three to four diapers per day (24 hours). Whenever she can, she will pee and poo on the potty. For us and the people around us who have used the same approach it’s really normal, but for some others it is a weird sight at first to see a baby this small using the toilet.

    The approach is called diaper free in English or luiervrij or babyzindelijkheidscommunicatie in Dutch. I’m writing this so you can look it up on YouTube :).

    Basically what we did was very simple: every time we would notice Lua pooing (or peeing, but that’s harder to notice), we would make a sound and a gesture. For us, the sound is psss and the gesture is like waving but with closed hand (fist). That’s all we did.

    When she was five months old, I placed her on the potty for the first time, made the sound and gesture and to my joyful surprise… she peed! And it wasn’t a coincidence; since then, whenever she is on the potty and she has pee in her belly, she will pee.

    Pooing took a while longer, but at nine months old she now has a belly rhythm and we haven’t had to change a poo diaper in weeks now :).

    We are now waiting for her to start using the sound and/or gesture to intentionally signal to us that she wants to go.

    For us, the approach has been joyful and effortless. It has already saved us a lot of money, laundry and dirty diaper changes as well.